Tonight I took a walk on the beach by myself. A long walk, so long that when I turned back I could no longer see my hotel, and I was nervous that I might not be able to distinguish which one of the peachy-pink beachfront hotels was mine. Luckily for me, when it came back into view, I could see that the word “Ramada” was printed on it’s side in GIANT letters. I imagine they did that for the advertising benefit and the benefit to directionally challenged vacationers like myself is just a bonus.
But anyways –
I walked so long that at the end of my walk my hips hurt, and my lower back, reminding me of what an out-of-shape old lady I am. And I think, if Sophie was with me here on the beach, she’d have RUN me that distance, her little orange-and-yellow-swimsuit-clad bottom streaking across the sand before I could blink. And then, I’d really be sore.
But she’s not with me. On this beach vacation, I am alone.
Alone! How can it be? I don’t go on vacation alone. How am I here? What am I doing here? It’s crazy, so crazy I didn’t even really believe I was going until I was on a plane here.
I’m here, at the beach, by myself, because my sweet hubby thought I needed a break. This is what happens when you lose your mind, ladies. You get sent off not to the looney bin but to the beach! I’m not complaining.
I’m thankful for the break, thankful to see the ocean, smell it, feel it between my toes. I can’t wait to sleep in and nap and not change poopy diapers for a couple of days.
But, oh, I miss them already! It was so hard to leave them at the airport. I held Sophie for the longest time. Joshua was all, “have a great time!” – he’s just thrilled that Daddy’s going to be home from work for a few days. But Sophie, she doesn’t get it yet. And I felt so bad leaving her. Ah, no “break” would be complete without the mother’s guilt.
So. Tonight I took a long walk on the beach. Alone. And it was awesome just to take it all in, to really SEE it.
I think I’ll do it again tomorrow.
Gosh, that has to be weird! I can’t imagine going on vacation alone. There would be peace, I am not sure I remember what that’s like. Hey, I am crazy, and I didn’t get sent on vacation, NO fair!
I hope you have a great time and can appreciate all the things it’s easy to overlook when you’re with your kids.
I’ve taken at least ONE vacation alone each year for many, many years. I used to think people were crazy to vacation without their spouse or loved ones, but the break is refreshing, gives me time to think, and I get to see things no one else is interested in. (The kids could only take so many historic homes and civil war battlefields!!) So, sweetie, try some new foods, watch something no one else will let you hear at home and chalk it up to my three favorite words…The ra py!
have a restful time jenny! praying God will use this time in your life! wish i were with you…literally 🙂
I’m taking a girls weekend next month to celebrate my bffs and my 30 birthday- it’ll be my first time travelling without my daughter. I’m REALLY excited to get on a plane and not have to wrangle a toddler (hello glass of wine!), but on the other hand I’m going to really miss her and my husband.
But a girl has to get away every now and then. I hope you have a great and relaxing vacay. And a few margaritas wouldn’t hurt. 😉 lol
I’m so jealous!
But, know what it takes to get to that point where you really need a break and I so hope that this vacation allows you time to recharge your batteries, and just BE.
Love you, Jennybelle.
Enjoy your vacation!! You have such a fantastic husband, not many guys “get” it when it comes to the challenges women face as mothers and full-time caregivers. I know you miss your family but take comfort in knowing the kids are very good hands and how refreshed you’ll be when you get back to them.
Love ya babe!
Seriously enjoy it. Really, I mean that. I am thinking how would I leave Isaac for 4 days to go to BlogHer, it would be tough, so I know how you feel. But at the end of it all you will probably be so happy to see them and so refreshed. I really am jealous. Read a good book for me!
Wow. I didn’t know you were there alone. Good for you! But yeah…that might be weird. Enjoy. Rest. Find peace.
Have a fun vacation with yourself. Sometimes, those are the best kind.
Enjoy!
I thought maybe Bobby had such a great time at Cornerstone without you, that he just wanted to extend HIS vacation 😉
I can honestly say no one has ever sent me to the beach as a reward for losing my mind. My only reward has been dealing with a toddler while crazy, instead of just dealing with a toddler.
I have mix feelings when I think about a vacation alone…WOW! The bathroom and bed all to myself, restaurants only I weigh in on, etc. But then I think WOW! Just me and my thoughts, my jokes, my thoughts…
Sadly, if I was given this opportunity, I’d likely sleep away a lot of it and watch television as the sole proprietor of the remote. Which would just be sad, eh?
I hope you are having a great time and getting your relaxation on – you deserve it my wonderful friend
PS: And of course, I’m totally available (at a moments notice) to tag along if you want to let Hubs know…
Aww, what a FABulous hubby you have. I hope you can toss aside that mommy guilt (I know, near impossible)..and just relax and find some peace. Ocean air is good for that, you know? It’s one reason I hope to never move away from the sides of the country!!
Okay, I did the same thing over my spring break with a friend. We were at my parents’ condo (not too far from where you are, actually ) in Santa Rosa Beach, near Destin. It was the most relaxing, wonderful time and I realized that I should do it every year to keep my sanity and remind myself how much I love and need my family!
Hope it is peaceful, freeing, and restorative!
so glad you enjoyed the beach dear jenny. love you.