Kate’s been in kindergarten all of, I don’t know, three weeks, and already she’s met them.
The mean girls.
Before school today, my grandma put pigtails in Kate’s hair and tied ribbons around them. I didn’t see her, as I was already at work, but I’m sure she looked freaking adorable.
However, apparently some of the other girls didn’t think a random Monday called for ribbons, and made fun of Kate for wearing them when it was not picture day (as though she should have known that rule that they invented THREE SECONDS BEFORE).
I know – I really do – that this is extremely minor. I know that her feelings were hurt and she’ll get over it and then her feelings will get hurt all over again. And again, and again. I also know that there will be times when she’ll hurt the feelings of another little girl. That’s how life is. I get it.
But seriously? They’re five. They’re five and their already picking on each other for something as benign as a hair bow.
Which begs the question, what else – who else – are they making fun of? And how do I make sure it’s not Kate on either side of that equation?
Andy and I did our best to make this a teachable moment and talk to her about what being a friend means and blah blah blah… but none of it erases the hurt she felt today and that makes me so sad.
What I am dying to know, and what I haven’t asked, is this – will she wear the ribbons again tomorrow?
I really, really hope she will.
******
Update: She wanted a ribbon this morning. That makes me SO PROUD.
It breaks my heart to see kids being mean to other kids… especially at this young of an age! My 4 (almost 5) year old has been the target of some exclusion (target of exclusion? sounds off) and I was soooo sad to see it. But also happy to see how oblivious my son was. Unfortunately the veil of oblivion is lifting and he notices more and more and my heart is breaking more and more.
My kindergartener was picked on the VERY FIRST DAY by mean girls. We also had issues with a mean girl last year with my then 2nd grader… which broke her heart (and mine as we sobbed and prayed on the couch together). It is so awful.
Oh my goodness, that is SO sad. As a fourth grade teacher, I see a lot of the mean girls! But, in Kindergarten???? I had no idea. I think you guys did the right thing by making it a teachable moment…what else can you do? I hope she wears those ribbons again with CONFIDENCE very soon!
Totally not trying to preach here. Just wanted to say that the early onset of meanies was one of the many reasons we chose to homeschool.
Hopefully your daughter will wear her ribbons with pride tomorrow. I’m sure she looks adorable and she’ll probably set a new trend among the mean girls if she does. 🙂
emily, i’m so sorry.
my daughter is in 1st grade and she got her hair pulled so hard on the bus the first week that her braid came undone!
then later that week, she came to me and asked me to cut her hair short so no one would pull it. my heart broke.
mean girls – at ages 5 or 6? doesn’t anyone else think this is insane?
My daughter has had this in Pre-K. I was glad that the other little girl went to Kindergarten this year and my daughter got to stay in Pre-K so that she didn’t have to deal with her anymore.
We just talked to her about it and explained that some kids are mean for just no reason or because they are trying to make themselves feel better or whatever. And we tried to teach her ways to deal with the problem. It finally got bad enough that I had to talk to the school about it. They were having a lot of problems with the little girl and were constantly having to call her mother up to deal with her. Now that she is gone things have kind of settled down.
I hate that. School is wonderful but you got to take the bad with the good. I hate that Kate had to experience the bad, so soon! Keep us posted whether she wears the ribbons or not! I HOPE she does and shows those girls what’s really cool : )!!
Where to begin…I honestly think I got my ass kicked everyday of school. Not that I’m bitter or anything. There was “the pink shirt incident”. After reading a novel in which some guy, I think Phineas, wore a pink shirt, I had to have one. Try that in 1966. Got beat up, went home, Mom washed it, I wore it the next day, and the next and the next and the next. When they realized they could not get to me nor make me stop, it got boring. But, there are a couple of things to know. 1.)It is a “learned at home” behavior…wait ’til you meet thier moms. OH yeah! PTA can be so fun. and 2.) Grandpa Brads was right, if I’d stood up for myself once, it would have stopped. I didn’t, it didn’t. I fought back by being funny, witty, and wordy…which often times got me in more trouble. She’ll find her way of fighting back. Your little grasshopper is on the right path..BRAID away, BRAIDS it is and Ribbons for everyone. I’ll be wearing one for her tomorrow!
UP
I remember the elementary mean girls… when it was so surprising to hear those remarks, back before you knew there was anyone in the world that might not love you.
It’s hard to pull out a teachable moment when you can only think of ripping out some snotty prima donna’s pigtails, isn’t it? Oh, wait… maybe other mothers have more self control? I’m sure you do. 😉
The fact that she wanted ribbons again makes me want to hug her! Obviously, she’s got too much confidence to be a mean girl. If she does slip once or twice, she’ll probably realize the only reason girls are mean is to make up for low self-esteem.
YES! AWESOME! WEAR THAT RIBBON, GIRL!
Yay for Kate and her ribbons. I hope she can rise above any mean girl taunts to be her own person. Good for her!
Yeah, that stuff does start early. It is most definitely a reflection on those mean girls families – wait till you meet their mamas.
Honestly, part of it is just jealousy – that Kate has someone who loves her THAT much to spend TIME on her hair to make it look so d-a-m-n cute; a lot of that crappy behavior stems from that.
You know ours go to parochial school, so this issue doesn’t pop up as often and when it does it is addressed immediately at the parent level and stopped. If your school has a no bullying policy, this kind of behavior would fall under that umbrella. You might want to get the exact school policy on bullying off their website so you can refer to it if this continues.
Wear your ribbons, Kate the Great!
I am PROUD that she wore her ribbons again today…they were just jealous they didn’t have a FANTASTIC Gram to fix their hair!!! WOW! I am not even sure how to comment nicely so I guess I will just agree with can’t wait til you meet their parents….it will be interesting…(insert evil laugh here…) 🙂
I am so glad Kate is one of the nice girls, and that she obviously knows her hair fashions, PLEASE those other girls were just jealous. Pretty soon ribbons are going to be the new black! Or the equivalent thereof in kindergarten. You go, Kater!
Also, Uncle Paul, you are the awesome!
Emily, that breaks my heart. In kindergarten? Are you KIDDING me? Ugh.
As for her wearing ribbons again today – that rocks. 🙂
Hey…look on the bright side. She could be boy crazy like my pre-K daughter is. She came home and announced to her Dad she was going to marry Izaiah and not him. Yes, I know, menial, trivial, but it’s the first time Daddy wasn’t her “knight in shining armor”
That’s really sad about your little one! Makes me smile though that she ask for one today and wore it. As a former picked upon little girl (my real name is Kandi, you do the math) I read that and thought YAY!!!! Good for her!!
What a great way to make it a teachable moment! I would have said “tell them I’ll shove the ribbon where the son doesn’t shine if you don’t shut it you little brats.” Or, something like that 🙂
I kid, I kid….sort of. But, seriously, they are FIVE and what the heak are their parents teaching their kids??? CRAZY WORLD!!
First, I really want to know what hair Uncle Paul is putting this ribbon in?
Second, you’re girl will suffer many hurts, but apparently you’ve taught her to be brave and true to herself. She’s armed with the best weapon against this kid of thing, self confidence.
I’ll bet she was rockin’ the pigtails. It stuns me that parents are inadvertently training up their children to mock and ridicule others. Makes me afraid for when my babies go to school, and we’ve got years before that happens. Good for her on wearing the ribbons again! Be strong, little lady!
My daughter had the same thing in pre=k. The ‘mean’ girl would only pay attention to girls that wore …(gazes around room and picks what she wants)…dresses that were pink (for example). My daughter usually didn’t have pink. We tried to talk to her that girls that pick friends based on what they wore weren’t really good friends. It went on for months. Then one day they became fast friends. When I see daughter excluding someone I try to remind her how she felt when her friend was excluding her. I also challenge her to get to know girls that she doesn’t know.