Tuesday, Sam came home from school with a tooth pushed further back in his head than when he left that morning. Evidently he got in a fight with a fence, and the fence won.
Wednesday, Sam came home from school with a black eye. We’re not exactly sure how that one happened – he doesn’t remember. Whatever it was must have impacted his brain.
I, of course, was out of town on business all week and couldn’t take care of him, couldn’t give him a hug. He was being very well cared for by his father, obviously, but it still hurt my heart that I wasn’t there for him.
And then I read this – an account of nine recent teenage suicides that were a result of cyber-bullying.
Sam’s injuries last week were easy to treat. They were nothing a few popsicles and a super hero action figure couldn’t fix.
His wounds were visible.
That article? Scared me to death. It made me worry about all the pain my kids will go through in the future (and let’s be real – they will) that we can’t see, that we might not even know about. That we can’t fix.
We’re going to have to stay at the top of our game, people. All of us.
How do we do that, though? How do we make sure to stay attuned to our kids? To ensure we not only listen but we hear what they’re saying? How to we keep them coming to us when they’re hurt?
What do we do when popcicles and hugs aren’t enough?
Very thoughtful post, Emily. When I was a teacher, I tried to be a student of my students. I observed and took notes to help me get to know them and their needs. I think that parents have to do the same…observe, listen and respond. Sometimes one has a more introverted child who does not share easily. That is where observing really helps. What you have observed in the past helps you see changes in mood or behavior. Body language and the look in their eyes are clues. My children seemed to be “brain dead” at dinnertime as to how their day went at school but seemed to recover at bedtime…were willing to talk then. Taking time to read the newsletters that teachers send home gives you a base for discussion when the kids say they did “nothing” at school. I think a big key is that every kid needs to be good at something…academics, sports, music, hobby,etc. to give him confidence when times get tough. Parents can give the child opportunities for that to happen. I heard a child development person say once…can’t remember who…that every child has to have someone who is CRAZY about her…your kids are COVERED!
I clicked thru the email for this one – I definitely wanted to read what people had to say! So surprised not to see more than one comment… but Diane made up for that with an excellent and insightful comment. I honestly don’t know what to say or add, it scares me too – A LOT. I need to turn my kids – and my fears – over to God every single day.