So now that the cat’s out of the bag about my new job, I have to tell you the story of how I met my boss, whom I shall call…Brian (mostly because that’s his actual name).
I actually worked for Brian for a few months before I met him in person, but we kinda-sorta has some connections because he and his wife went to high school with my brother and I went to high school with his sister (and his wife and I are Facebook friends so basically we are bests – HEY JENNA!) and we connected via Facebook, email, phone calls, Google Hangouts, and all the great internetty ways by which you get to know (and hire) a complete stranger without being in the same physical space. Speaking of which, we also go to the same church, but due to the fact that there are three services…we’ve never actually seen each other there. Ha.
Anyway! This year Brian’s kids are going to my kids’ school for the first time and we both have boys who are in 5th grade so at meet-the-teacher night we finally met in person. (Do people still DO that? Weird.) As luck would have it, one of Brian’s sons is in Joshua’s class [so the chances for my potential embarrassment go beyond this blog post] and their lockers are right next to each other. Like all good amazingly awkward introductions, we made ours by the middle school lockers. (Which actually sets the stage rather well for what happened next, as it turns out. And also? I LOVE PARENTHESES!) I introduced him to Bobby, Sophie, and Joshua, and our boys met each other, too. And then Brian directed his attention to one Jonah Rapson. I mean, after all, who could resist Jonah’s adorable 3-year-old charms?
(Take note: you might want to resist should you ever be in danger of succumbing to said charms.)
I can’t remember what words were exchanged but I do know I had Jonah say hello in a super-polite manner that would showcase not only his speech therapy progress but also my superb mothering skills. And then Brian started to extend his hand to shake Jonah’s darling, tiny, three-year-old hand, because oh em gee, three-year-old handshakes are ADORABLE, no?
SO here’s the part where what transpired next happened in that super slow-motion thing where I could see what was going to happen but I could in no way stop it and and I was like “nooooooooooooooooo!!” but it was too late.
For neither Brian nor I saw that as we were exchanging pleasantries, Jonah had inserted his right index finger into his nostril. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DID. I saw him take it out seconds before…he shook my new boss’ hand. And though my inner monologue was letting out a strangled cry, all I could do was cringe in mombarrassment.
To his credit, Brian saw what was happening and went through with the handshake. (And presumably then went through an entire bottle of hand sanitizer.)
The really funny thing is, Jonah isn’t much of a nose picker. I mean, it’s not something I really have to scold him for or deal with often. So he picked (see what I did there) an especially momentous occasion to try it out. I guess Brian is just that lucky.
Oh that third child, you gotta watch that one. I MEAN MY PRIDE! MY FIRST IMPRESSION!
Just kidding. It’s so bloggable, it makes it totally worth it.
At least on my end. Sorry Brian! And, nice to meet you?
