Posted on

Small (??) Prices to Pay for a Miracle

We know that any minor inconveniences that come with pregnancy are worth it. We’re thankful we have healthy children. And we really do love our kids.

But if you’ve been pregnant, you know that even though the logical you knows that the morning sickness and cankles will pass (eventually), but it really doesn’t seem that way to your enormously pregnant self. So we’ve made a list of just a few of the fun things that we encountered during our pregnancies.

Small Prices to Pay for a Miracle

 Swollen hands and feet : and by swollen, I mean approximately 3-5 times the normal size. I will never forget the nurse that asked me several hours after giving birth if my feet were still pregnant. Sure enough they were.

Fat face: mine was so bad, I can hardly stand to think about it.

 Stretch marks: everywhere.

Fatigue it’s a darn good thing that Jenny and I worked in the same office (alone, I might add – great thinking, former employers!) while we were pregnant – one of us could be the look-out person while the other one napped on the conference room table.

 Irrationality/emotional instability: our husbands will back us up on this one.

Charley horses: I have a really unfortunate charley horse experience that is too long to tell here, but would be the good subject of a future blog entry.

 Projectile nosebleeds: what does pregnancy have to do with nosebleeds? Oh that’s right, NOTHING is sacred!

Dr. putting her hand up to her elbow in your hoo-ha: self-explanatory

Hips popping out of wherever they’re supposed to be: No, no, I’m good, I’m just gonna stand her until my anatomy corrects itself and I can walk again.

Being 9 months pregnant for TWO MONTHS: DO the math

Puking: it’s not always just in the morning folks!

Inability to roll over in bed: Having to wake your husband to roll you over is NOT good for your marriage.

Tailbone (aka BUTT) pain: don’t need to elaborate there, either.

Baby squishing your lungs: CAN’T FREAKING BREATHE

Heartburn:  all the time, regardless of what I ate or didn’t eat. It was awful. (And for those familiar with this particular old-wives tale, my baby had a ton of hair.)

25-??? extra pounds: Those question marks should really be multiplication symbols.

So that’s what Jenny and I could come up with… but we know there’s a lot we’re missing! What “small prices” did YOU have to pay for your miracle???

Post to Twitter

Posted on

I Hate it when my Kid is Smarter than I am!



Isn’t it funny how even though we’re supposed to be the ones teaching our
children, we learn so much from them? Maybe it is true that everything we
need to know we learned in kindergarten (or perhaps pre-school). Because
many times, it seems like Kate is much more wise than I am.

A couple weeks ago we were driving in the car with my dad, and I was
telling him exactly what I thought of an aquaintance. I was going on and
on about the mistakes I thought she was making, both professionally and
personally (you know, because I have it all figured out… yeah right!)

All the sudden Kate piped up from the back, “Mommy, worry about YOURSELF!”

Touche, Kate.

Post to Twitter

Posted on

Rewind…7/01/2004 The Great Pumping (while driving!) Disaster



To: Jenny
From: Emily
Date: 7/01/04
Subj: Pumping incident

Cousin,
Remember yesterday when we were talking on the phone and I had to hang up all the sudden? Yeah… I had a bit of a disaster on my hands.

Yesterday afternoon was really busy at work and I didn’t have a chance to pump. I had gone to exercise right after work and I was still wearing my gym clothes when I decided to try my new “pumping-while-driving” trick. I sat in the parking lot and got myself all situated… I had a sports bra on, not a nursing bra, and I had to kind of hitch it up and out of the way. Looking back, I’d say that this created somewhat of a tourniquet effect.

So I drove away, happily multi-tasking. Then you called (and if there’s not a law against pumping, driving and talking on the phone at the same time, there should be)… but while we were chatting I thought to myself “That’s weird – my shorts feel kind of wet.”

I looked down and there was milk EVERYWHERE – the bottles had overflowed. I pulled over as quickly as possible (and hung up with you) and detached myself from the apparatus… but by that point… well, the pump was primed, if you know what I mean.

By the time I got home, I had two huge rivers of milk down the front of my t-shirt. When I walked in the door, I think Andy thought I had exploded or something. He fearfully asked me what had happened. I just said “I promise you do not want to know” and headed straight to the shower.

Post to Twitter