Mommin' It Up!

January 13, 2012January 13, 2012

An open letter to Emily about this whole dog business

nodogsallowed — photo by number657 on flickr

Dear Cousin,

I love you. Just about as much as I love anyone on this earth. And I have in my past, loved a pet. More than one. I mean I used to let those cats SLEEP WITH ME every night, I looooved them, they were my BABIES, and you know what? I’M GLAD THEY’RE GONE. Going pet-free is the best decision we ever made for our family.

And that is the reason I am going to tell you that you should under no circumstances, get a DOG. I know your husband thinks he wants one, I know your daughter thinks she wants one, I know all our readers think your kids are going to turn out to be emotionally stunted irresponsible citizens who make a living stealing other people’s identities if they don’t get a one, but I am here to tell you that they are WRONG. Why? Because YOU don’t want one, and they ultimately want what YOU want, whether they know it or not. This dog will make you unhappy, and when mama’s not happy…she gets TMJ, gets hopped up on muscle relaxers because she can’t deal with letting the dog out in the middle of the night one more time, refuses to leave the bedroom, gets fired from her job, and starts talking to her new hair dryer.

But you know what? I don’t need to give you any more reasons about how dog hair is gross (and your cleaning lady is going to start charging you more), how you are going to have to pick up POOP (really, both your kids can take care of their own poop, shouldn’t you not rock the poop boat?), how you are going to have to make Kate get a JOB to pay for the tags, license, shots, etcetera that this pooch is going to require. And what if he gets hurt, or sick? Oh, you can just buy health insurance for YOUR DOG. I’m sure that’s cheap. And probably really good coverage. I am sure you will never have to pay out of pocket thousands of dollars so your dog won’t die so your kids won’t be emotionally scarred.

OH, and YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY FOR YOUR DOG TO GET A HAIRSTYLE AND A MANICURE. Dubya tee eff, cousin. Like you even have time to get your OWN hair and nails done but your DOG will have to have regularly scheduled appointments?

I just died a little just thinking about it.

But anyhoo. Like I was saying. I don’t need to tell you those things. Because I am going to tell you, in your own words, why you should not get a dog. So Emily, listen up, because you have something to say to yourself.

REASONS I SHOULD NOT GET A DOG

by Emily Berry

1) I rarely plan ahead for lunch, which means I either grab something quick (and expensive and not so healthy), or I scavenge something to eat out of my desk drawer, and then find myself ravenous when I get home. But I’m sure remembering to buy giant $60 bags of dog food for our family pet will be no problem.

2) One of the ~~many~~ things I struggle with is how big of a deal to make out of things – and by “things,” I mean failures on my part. Once I get started thinking about one thing, a giant list of other things I need to do or fix or clean or whatever comes to the forefront of my mind… and I can’t let them go. But I think adding a few dog-care-related things to the list is a great idea.

3) I need to hook up the super awesome printer I bought, I don’t know, probably six months ago. It’s been sitting in a corner since then. I shudder to think of this dog’s fate when your 7-year-old tires of caring for it.

4) I need to keep my car cleaner. So I’m getting a dog.

5) I’m tired of staying up too late. I’m tired of not being able to get out of bed on time. I’m tired of getting myself and two kids out the door every morning. I’m tired of my 40 minute commute. I’m tired of evenings being rushed. I’m tired of being late for everything. I’m tired of having so many balls in the air. I’m tired of feeling like I’m not doing a good job at anything. Like keeping a dog alive.

6) Sam, at the ripe old age of three and a half, has developed a new interest. Potty humor. I think dog poop all over the yard is really going to help him get over it.

7) I mean, imagine if your husband had memories of seeing his mom get a pap smear. (ok, that one doesn’t really apply, it just cracks me up!)

8 ) Then there’s everything that has to be done in evenings during the school year… homework, paper shuffling, lunch packing, bath time, and, you know, dinner. And taking the dog out for a crap. And scooping the dog’s crap up.

9) Jenny and I have actually both been struggling with this ungratefulness in our oldest children, and we’ve talked about it a lot. However, we have no solutions. But maybe I’ll try making Kate scoop up dog crap and see if that helps.

10) And finally…I think I am getting grumpy in my old age or something, because this time around any benefit I might eventually get from this scenario is vastly outweighed by the fact that I am extremely uncomfortable.

Don’t get a dog, cousin. Don’t. Get. A. Dog.

Love,

January 12, 2012

To Dog or Not to Dog?

That has been the question in our house for, oh, probably a year and a half.

Andy and Kate (and now Sam, although I question his decision-making ability) say yes… I say no.

Except now I’m wavering.

I’ve never had a pet. I don’t get the whole thing. I don’t know why people are obsessed with their dogs and I don’t know why anyone would get a cat, ever. I’m sure there’s something to it or 84% of the population wouldn’t have one, but I just don’t get it.

But Kate really loves dogs. She is so cute when she’s around other people’s dogs, and she really wants one of her own.

So then I start looking around Petfinder.com and see faces like this one…

And I think it really wouldn’t be so bad. But then I remember all the pain in the butt parts about having a dog and I don’t want to go through with it anymore.

So tell me, people – dog or no dog?

January 11, 2012January 10, 2012

Wondergirl, the graduate

Yesterday was such a momentous day for our family, and especially for Sophie. As I sit here I can still honestly hardly believe it.

Sophie was discharged from speech therapy yesterday. She “graduated”, after 18 months of hard work. When her first evaluation score came back in October of 2010, when she’d only been in therapy for three months, her speech language pathologist estimated that she would need therapy for three to four years.

My Sophie girl did it in just eighteen months.

It wasn’t easy. Sophie worked hard at therapy, and we both worked hard at home several times a week without fail to practice the skills her SLP wanted us to work on. She also got speech in a group setting once a week at school, and attended a “Social Group” therapy with some other kids this summer while her SLP was on maternity leave.

I say it wasn’t easy, but it could have been a lot harder. Yes, we worked, we worked a lot. I was pretty militant about it. But all of that time spent together was wonderful for Sophie and me. We learned a lot from and about each other. It helped our bond to really tighten. And Sophie proved herself to be a very fast learner. Once she started working on a concept, she generally got it F-A-S-T. She wowed me and her speech language pathologists time and time again with the speed with which she acquired new language skills. I really could not be any prouder of her.

When Sophie’s SLP told me she was ready to discharge her, I wasn’t surprised, I knew it was coming soon. But it is so bittersweet, because Sophie adores “Miss Kristen” and every single second she gets to spend with her! Kristen and I both teared up during Sophie’s “graduation” today.

what's in there?? — Sophie didn't want to wear the mortarboard 🙂

Sophie and Miss Kristen — We'll miss you Miss Kristen!

Driving home from Sophie’s last session, I had to keep from doing the “ugly cry”. I didn’t want to scare my girl, after all. But wow, it was hard to keep those emotions in check! When Sophie first started speech, her delay was so much worse than we actually thought it was. That was a really scary time for me, trying to figure out what she needed and how to get it. But my mom told me, “The Lord made her and the Lord is going to take care of her.”, and she was right. Every step of the way, we met the right people to help us get Sophie caught up. When her first speech clinic closed, I was devastated – we loved her first SLP (hey Miss Tanya!), but that ultimately led us to Kristen, who had just ONE opening left, which we were able to get in right away (which is a miracle in our area where there is at least a three month wait for speech) and watching her with Sophie has been awesome. She HAS a real gift and IS a real gift to those she works with.

Sophie’s journey through developmental delays has been hard, but it is something I am truly thankful for. I am just so amazed by what she has done, I truly believe there is nothing she can’t do.

She’ll be done with occupational therapy in a couple of months and then maybe we’ll have a big party, or another good cry, or both – but whatever we do I will never be able to adequately express how PROUD I am of her!

I love you Sophie girl. Congratulations baby!