Here in Ohio, this week it’s really started to feel like spring. I wasn’t a huge fan of the time change the first few mornings, but the days being longer is so nice. We’ve been spending time outside and just tonight we fired up the grill for the first time. Kate and I took a walk last night after dinner – just the two of us… no little brothers, TVs or cell phones. We talked, made plans for the summer, and took note of the signs of spring we saw all over.
It’s warm, it’s sunny, it’s wonderful.
There’s just something about spring, don’t you think? Something freeing. It’s a time to start fresh, a time to leave worries behind. A time to live without worry. To open the windows and air out our houses, our attitudes, and our lives. I, for one, could use some fresh air, and I’m excited to see what this new season holds for us all.
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Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Sprint via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Sprint.
Sadly, I am not writing this post to reminisce about my favorite 80’s sitcom, although I guess it WAS kind of about a power struggle…so en pointe. Because this post is about a power-hungry five-year-old and her frustrated mother.
She's cute. And she's planning a hostile takeover.
Sophie was stubborn and strong-willed from the moment she left the womb, and we’ve had our share of power struggles in the past, but since she’s come through her language delay, things have been much easier. Until now. Recently, girlfriend has decided to test me HARD in a couple of areas. The power struggle is ON, and I am determined to let her know I am still the Alpha Female in this household.
The times Sophie most tries to assert herself as the one in “control” are when we are getting ready to get dressed or leave the house, and at dinner time. Two or three times a week she will refuse to go potty/get dressed before school or gymnastics, or any random time when we need to get out the door. Then, every night at dinner if there is something on her plate she doesn’t “like” (i.e. anything not fruit, yogurt, or peanut-butter related) she absolutely refuses to eat it until she is threatened with punishment and/or I shovel the bites into her mouth for her. She would rather go to her room for the rest of the evening thaan eat those bites. She would rather lose iPad privileges than eat those bites. She would give up TV, computer, Wii – anything before she’d eat those bites. So I ALWAYS make her eat them, rather than “grounding” her from something. But it takes lots of extra time and usually I am a little hot under the collar by the time all is said and done.
And, even though I have yet to let her “win” this one, she still does it every time she is offered food she doesn’t want to eat. I know she is winning a partial victory just by causing so much inconvenience and irritation for me in the first place. The other night I was pretty much convinced she is a sociopath. *Ahem*.
I pretty much just don’t know what to do with her, other than, as I have said many times, save my pennies for either a) her stay at boarding school or b) my stay in the looney bin in aabout 2021.
Which is why I had to laugh when TheMotherhood.com asked me to co-host a chat this Thursday, 3/15 at 1PMEST with a few other fab bloggers and Susan Stiffelman, the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles. I saw the info about this talk in their newsletter and was totally going to attend anyway, so BONUS! Susan is a family therapist, and an officianado on parent-child power struggles, and she did, after all, write the book! She’s also the Parent Coach at the Huffington Post and I cant wait to hear what she has to say! The talk is all-text, here at the Motherhood.com. I hope you’ll join me and my co-hosts for some straight-forward talk about how to eliminate power struggles. Perhaps after Thursday’s talk I’ll be able to start saving my pennies for something a little more exciting than a stay at the funny farm. Like a stay at a spaaaaaaaaa. Or a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew and Cadbury Creme eggs. You know, something really valuable.
I hope you’ll join us on Thursday! I’m not being compensated or sponsored for my participation, it’s just a topic I am really interested in and need to learn about right now, and I am glad to have a great interactive forum in which to do so.
I’d like to have some other viewpoints besides my own going into this, so tell me, what are some of the power struggles you have with your kids?
The little girls & guy pictured above are some of Sophie’s favorite toys, from the “Stella Squeak” Fisher-Price line. But in addition to being her toys, they were also valuable tools I used at home to supplement her speech therapy. I used these to teach her spatial vocabulary – concepts such as behind, in front of, between, next to, under, on top of, etc. Here are a couple of ways to teach these words and concepts to your kiddo using toys.
The first exercise Sophie and I used for learning spatial concepts included a prop – in our case, an old Halloween trick-or-treat bucket -we called it “the Bucket game” (creative right!?). Using her favorite toy mouse, Stella Squeak, I’d place Stella in various positions around, on top of, under, next to the bucket, explaining as I did, “Stella is on top of the bucket. Now, Stella is under the bucket.” After I went through all the spatial positions, I’d give the toy to Sophie and ask her, “Can you put Stella next to the bucket? Can you put Stella in front of the bucket?” Right answers were praised and incorrect answers were merely corrected with a cheerful, “No, that’s _________. Here’s _________ the bucket.”
The other exercise we used her toys for involved all the little mice pictured above. Sophie knew all the names of her mice, (Candice, Stella, Barry, Priscilla, and Juliet, FYI), and so I’d put three of them in a line and say, “Sophie, who is between?” or put one in front of the group and say, “Sophie, who is in front?” After a few turns of me asking her to show me the correct answer, I’d give her one of the mice and say, “Sophie, put Stella between Priscilla and Candice.” or “Sophie, put Stella next to Juliet.”
Show me which one is in front, behind, etc.
Another really fun activity which Sophie and I did NOT do at home, but you can, is to hunt for items. Sophie’s SLP did this with her often at therapy so we didn’t repeat the activity at home, but it is a great one. Simply hide objects where they can be easily found – toys, whatever you want to use. (Sophie’s SLP used plastic eggs.) Then sing “a-hunting we will go” while the child looks for the objects. When he or she finds one, have them tell you WHERE they found it using spatial terms. “Where did you find the egg?” “I found it behind the pillow!’ or “I found it next to the lamp.” Sophie’s SLP put little treats in the eggs which made them extra-fun to hunt for. When she had found them all she got to open them up.
Those are just a couple of ideas on how to teach your kiddo spatial vocabulary at home! Even if your child is not speech-delayed, it can be a fun way to play and learn!
