Hell froze over and whatnot.

So remember that time Jenny told me I shouldn’t get a dog?

She was totally right.

However, against my better judgment, we did it anyway.

A few weeks ago, we brought a dog home from a shelter. Have you ever tried adopting a dog from a shelter? I am fairly certain we could have brought a kid home from Rwanda with less scrutiny. Anyway, after we convinced them we weren’t Michael Vick wannabes, we brought home a dog whose name (at the time) was Yonkers. He had been adopted from the shelter as a puppy and was in a home for five years, but his owners got smart had kids and couldn’t care for him anymore, so he wound up back at the shelter. So anyway, this was the only dog we had come across that we all felt remotely comfortable with (and by “remotely,” I mean not 100% opposed. And by “we,” I mean me.), in no small part because he was not a puppy. I am not a complete idiot – I drew the line at bringing anything into our house that wasn’t sleeping through the night and potty-trained. Because really – that ship has sailed.

So.

The shelter’s policy is that interested parties bring a dog home for a week-long “home visit” before making the adoption final. (See also: Rwandan child.) I held out the slightest bit of hope that a week would be long enough for all of us to realize that we didn’t need a dog.

I was wrong.

I realized it. The rest of my family, not so much.

But let me back up. The night Andy brought him home from the shelter, it was a Friday and the kids and I were in my bed watching television. Andy and the dog got home, and the dog’s first course of action was to tear through the house and jump up on our bed. I was not amused. Then he proceeded to bark the entire night. Kate, the girl who flips out when she can hear crickets chirping when she’s trying to sleep, was hysterical. She wanted the dog to be gone, and I quote – “Mommy was right. We aren’t ready for a dog.” I was gleefully chanting “I told you so!” in my head and picturing returning the purchase the next day.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last – the next morning she was in love with the damn thing.

I, however, was not.

Since Andy and the dog had gotten home late the night before, Andy had put the dog’s crate (which was gianormous, btw) in the kitchen. I came out to make the kids breakfast and the kitchen table had been moved to the side to make room for the crate, there were dog treats on the counter and leashes and toys strewn across the floor. I felt like the dog had taken over our entire home. Our house suddenly felt three times smaller, and the dog suddenly seemed three times bigger than I remembered. Later, Andy found me in the shower, sobbing. I just felt like our lives had been turned upside down – and I had liked our lives quite well just as they were.

Mid-morning, I took Kate to a birthday party for like 7 hours. It was so long I wanted to shoot myself. But being there felt like a better alternative than being at home with the dog – I was utterly convinced I would never want to be at our house again, especially alone. That thought was devastating to me.

After the party, I took Kate to the mall to kill some more time. When we did eventually get home, I discovered that Andy had spent the whole time getting our house back to normal. He moved the crate and all the paraphernalia to the basement and cleaned the entire house. It felt like home again and it was such a relief to me. He is a nice guy.

So anyway, after the initial shock wore off, things got better… but the conclusion I came to was that I just didn’t like having a dog in our house. It wasn’t about that dog in particular – all and all he’s a pretty good dog, and Andy and Kate had absolutely kept up their end of the bargain in terms of caring for him. It just felt like an intrusion.

To me, anyway. Everyone else – including Sam, who had been completely afraid of dogs a week before – loved having him around.

So, our week came to a close and we had to make a decision. It was not easy. I agonized over it, but after a long conversation with my dad, I decided that I would take one for the team.

We are now dog owners.

While I am still not overjoyed about this change in our life, I am trying to come around. I have decided that at this point, it’s in no one’s best interest for me to be angry and resentful. The dog is here to stay, and I need to make the best out of it. That’s what’s best for all of us.

So, readers, meet Siggy.

On the bright side, at least I’ll have something to blog about.

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Home SWAT Home

Sunday morning Emily and I got up at 4:30 a.m. to catch a flight home from Mom 2.0 Summit.  It was brutal.  We arrived home about 12:30, though, which was nice. Since what can go wrong will go wrong when mom’s away, Bobby had gotten sick Saturday night while I was gone.  So, his planned trip to the store to get a few things we were out of didn’t happen.  Since we were out of milk, bread, and bananas, I decided to run out to Aldi about 4:30 Sunday afternoon. (Because Aldi was a Mom 2.0 sponsor, and their prices are amazing!)  But when I went out to my van, I was greeted with two police cars blocking my driveway. What the what?  There was also an SUV parked right behind the police cars, and an officer was talking to 3 adults, two women  & a man – there were also FOUR kids in the car, including a baby.

Bobby had come outside with me and almost immediately we heard “Joseph Albertson! The house is surrounded! Please come out with your hands up!”  We peered down the street and there was another police car and a cop with a bullhorn three doors down. Well, YEE-HA!  Just another Sunday afternoon in the city!

Naturally, Bobby and I turned on the Wii for the big kids so they wouldn’t notice the drama. Then, we pulled up chairs on our front porch and sat back to watch the drama.

The cop with the civilians was literally RIGHT in front of our porch.  From the conversation we surmised they lived in the house or were related to the person that was being sought.  The man was on the phone trying to make arrangements for someone to come get the kids.  I felt so sorry for those kids.  The younger woman was yelling at them a lot and using the “F” word.  Lovely. I know it’s a high-stress situation, but geez.  It was really hot so I went in and got a box of Capri Sun and took it out to the woman, but she declined, saying the kids were leaving soon.  Fortunately, they were all soon escorted away.

By this time they had completely closed off our block so we definitely knew I was not getting out to the grocery anytime soon.  I wasn’t too thrilled but I figured this wouldn’t take too long.  Soon, I’d have my bread and milk, and anti-fungal cream for Jonah’s wicked diaper rash he had developed while I was gone? Right?

Then, we heard the cop tell the people on our sidewalk that SWAT and the Hostage Negotiation Team were coming. WHEEEEE!

It didn’t take long.

Soon this was the scene across the street from our house!

Soon there were SWAT guys with assault rifles all over the place.  They were being very stealthy – jumping over fences, creeping through alleys, etc.  All this time, the policeman with the bullhorn was constantly calling the guy to come out.  Bobby and I could see a news camera crew down the street filming the action.  He and I were constantly updating our FB statuses, and I was tweeting and instagramming the drama.  And also, after about two hours, I was complaining HEAVILY about not being able to get to the store!

At one point a SWAT team member, or HNT member, dropped an orange box right in front of our sidewalk.  I was all…umm…I hope that thing’s not going to blow up!  Luckily my friend Jen, whose husband is on the HNT, told me that’s the “jump phone” they use to talk to the perpetrator.  From online news reports, we found out the guy was wanted on a domestic violence charge, and was believed to be holed up in the house with an automatic weapon.

At some point we went in and made the kids dinner, then after that we let Joshua and Sophie continue to play Wii so they would not know that their were men with assault weapons right outside the house (they remained clueless throughout. We turned up the TV so they wouldn’t hear the bullhorn.)

But since we are super-stellar parents, we took Jonah out on the porch with us and let him swing on his baby swing so we could keep watching the drama!

So we were just sitting there minding the SWAT team’s business, when all of a sudden a stealthy SWAT guy crept up right next to our porch! I didn’t even hear him but Bobby pointed him out to me. So, I did what any good blogger will do:

photo heavily edited to *try* and hide the fact that I had been up for like 14 hours and had no makeup on.

LOOK AT HIM SMILING!!! HE LOVES IT!

I wasn’t as stealthy as him, because he saw me take the pic and said. “Don’t you go putting that on YouTube.”

No worries, dude.  But you didn’t say anything about MAH BLOG!

Soon after this, things stopped getting fun.  The bullhorn kept going.  At one point they blared the SWAT truck’s sirens (it was on this guy’s front lawn at this point) really loudly for a really LONG time to try to get him to come out.

It got late. I still didn’t have any groceries.  Jonah’s biscuits were still burning and he needed that diaper rash cream!

We put the kids to bed.  It took forever.  At one point I went out and saw the SWAT guys all in a row, with their shields up, in tight formation – it looked like they were ready to go in and get that guy!

But then nothing.

And about 45 minutes later, the trucks packed up and left.  Huh?  Bobby finally got out to the store after 10 to get us a few things, and I went to bed.

Then I woke up to news reports the next morning that THE GUY WASN’T EVEN IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHAT?????  I don’t know how he got out but he wasn’t there.  He ended up calling police from a location several miles away and turning himself in without incident.

After holding my neighbors and us hostage for over FIVE HOURS!   Ugh.

If he moves back to the house three doors down after he gets of jail, I am totally leaving a bag of flaming poop on his porch!

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Pin for the Wednesdays: Craftiness!

Today’s post is brought to you by my sister Anna, as I haven’t done anything remotely inspiring in about a month! -E
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My super-cousin-super-power is being crafty (in a good way!). So, next to Jesus, I pretty much think pinterest is the greatest thing ever. I love me some pinterest. It was the first (and only!) thing I went to when I was planning the latest family function at our church. I used 10 activities from pinterest. My favorite thing about these activities is that they were used for all ages, from my little one year old to adults. And we all had so much fun! The activities were a great way for parents to spend memorable time with their kids, Here are some of my favorites:

Tissue paper crosses:
This was a great activity for the little ones, because the only skill that’s needed is the ability to stick tissue paper to contact paper. My little 21 month old loved it. She keep saying “Stick, stick.” But the big kids loved it too.

Picture (and idea) found on confessionsofahomeschooler.com

Another great idea was making casts. The basic idea is wrapping a wrist or leg or in toilet paper spray with water, wrap more, spray more, and wa-la, a cast is made.

The messiest craft, but also one of the best, was making lava bottles (or, for our purpose, fiery furnace bottles). It’s so easy and so much fun. An empty plastic bottle, food coloring, vegetable oil, Alka-Seltzer, and water turns into a fun, bubbling activity.

I’m always looking for ways to engage the kids in prayer. Play dough prayers were just what I was looking for. Kids shape the play dough into something they are thankful for. In the future, I also want to make prayer sticks. And prayer books. Oh, and this finger painted bible verse sign. For an idea person like me, pinterest is completely addictive.

And, now that the church program is over, I’m going to concentrate on finishing decorating my daughter’s new room… brought to you by pinterest! What were your pinterest creations this week?

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