Mommin' It Up!

August 7, 2012

Things I’m never going to do.

Because women don’t feel bad enough about all the things they’re not doing already, someone had to go and invent Pinterest.

Thanks a lot, jackwagons.

Now, you know I love me some Pinterest. We have a whole carnival dedicated to it, for the love. I really do find it useful as a way to get ideas and to organize links.

But. It’s also a fabulous way for me to be fully aware of my failures and shortcomings. So, to make myself feel better, I started a new pin board called “Things I’m never going to do.” And really people – be honest – do 90% of the things you pin not REALLY belong on a board like this? I thought so. It’s not that they’re not lovely ideas that will ensure my kids end up smart and creative, make me drop 5 pounds by noon, or turn my house into an organized oasis of calm. They totally are. It’s just – I’m never going to do them.

Here are a few things that made the list.

Make your own Chick Fil-A sandwich!

Who doesn’t love a Chick Fil-A sandwich? But for real – making them at home in 49 easy steps? No thanks. That’s why God invented drive-thrus. And while you’re there, pick up a banana pudding milk shake. You can thank me later.

Next up, packing school lunches that look like something other than food.

Another-Lunch-angry-birds-lunch — Image from Remodelaholic.com

I can only imagine the excitement a third grader feels upon opening his lunchbox and finding a (healthy, I might add) replica of his favorite game ~~that his mom lets him play on her iPhone when she needs a moment’s peace and quiet~~. But seriously – it is all. I. Can. Do. to get Kate’s lunch packed in the first place. In fact, there have been mornings that I have pleaded “Can’t you just buy your (high-fructose-corn-syrup-laden-better-moms-wouldn’t-feed-to-their-dogs) lunch at school?” I feel like mom of the freaking year when I remember to write a little note on Kate’s napkin. Odds of me making Phineas and Ferb likenesses out of turkey are not good.

And then there are the home improvement projects. Remodel your kitchen using only toothpicks and chewing gum! Crochet your own ziploc bags! Whittle your own dining room table!

Turn a trampoline into a… I don’t know… thing that looks pretty but is bound to result in broken bones!

People. Come on. Let’s be serious.

It’s time to lower our standards. And Pinterest is really not helping.

Also – the inspirational quotes? Piss me off. But that’s a whole other post.

August 6, 2012

Dayton kids: You’ll love GPS Adventures at the Boonshoft!

As I have mentioned before, we have a membership to our local children’s museum, the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery. As a kid I used to love going to the Boonshoft (then called the Dayton Museum of Natural History) and I love that I can make new memories there with my own kiddos. Every quarter we go at least once to check out their featured exhibit in addition to the fun things they always have: the zoo, the Cassano’s pizza kitchen, recycling center, landfill, veterinary clinic…and so much more! A few weeks ago we headed there to check out “GPS Adventures“, the current featured exhibit.

GPS Adventures is a very fun maze of sorts that teaches kiddos about this amazing technology which is in our cars and phones. My kids are used to us having a GPS navigation system in our minivan,and it was cool for them to get a hands-on understanding of how they work!

Untitled — Learning how hikers use GPS technology to stay on track

In each section of the GPS Adventures maze, you have to use given clues to find out the secret code to unlock the door to the next section of the maze. So not only are the kids learning about the technology, they are using their critical thinking skills, too!

My children L-O-V-E-D this exhibit. The excitement of finding clues, figuring out the right answer, and getting that door locked was just thrilling to them. As soon as we were done, they wanted to go right back through! (I wouldn’t let them because I had Jonah’s big stroller, and I would advise you to use a small stroller for this trip! But I promised them we would go back sans baby brother before GPS Adventures departs for another location.)

At each checkpoint, you also stamp a card with coordinates once you get the code figured out. So at the end, each participant has their own coordinates which they can then take to a map to find out their next exciting real-life destination to learn about.

We had a great time at GPS Adventures! I really think this exhibit has it all. Technology, hands-on learning, mystery, secret codes, and fun the whole way through. I really encourage you to check it out in the main exhibit hall of the Boonshoft before it leaves – it runs through September 3rd.

If you’ve already checked it out, leave me a comment and let me know what you and your kids liked best!

_______________________

The Boonshoft Museum of Discovery sponsored this post. We are grateful for their support of Mommin’ It Up. All opinions about the exhibit are my own.

August 6, 2012August 5, 2012

As Seen on TV. At Grandma’s house.

This past week we were on vacation at my parent’s place in Virginia, and it was way fun. But before we left I was concerned that the kids would be bedazzzled by my parent’s satellite TV and it’s zillions of kids’ channels – my parents haven’t had this before when we’ve visited, and we don’t have it at home. At home, we do Netflix and PBS Kids and my children have only very rarely seen commercials. And as you can guess, I LIKE it that way. Commercials for kids’ stuff are the DEVIL! I mean, there are toys on the market today that I’d much prefer my kids don’t know exist, you know?

Fortunately, with the Olympics on this week, that was ALL we watched. The TV was pretty much on one channel and we all really enjoyed watching the Games. I was so excited that Joshua and Sophie were loving the games because I. ADORE. THE OLYMPICS. As day after day of our vacation went by without my kids realizing that my parents had Disney and Nick and all that other stuff available, I was feeling PRETTY goooooood about the lack of TV-watching! We were out & about during the day doing fun things, and at night we were cheering on Team USA!

Until day seven of vacation. On day seven, I dared to take a nap. And when I rejoined my family in the living room after my nap, freaking DISNEY XD was on the telly! As soon as I sat down on the couch, Sophie said:

“Joshua, did you see those toy commercials??? TOY COMMERCIALS ARE AWESOME!”

I kid you not. Exact. Freaking. Words.

I shot my husband a withering look. CRAP!

A few minutes later, I got to witness one of these “awesome” commercials myself. It was for these:

SeatPets. Which apparently, make the torturous act of riding in a car comfortable and fun. I had no idea that riding in the car was such an ordeal, until I saw the SeatPets commercial. And neither did Sophie. But now she’s terrified of “dangling heads or sore necks”. D’OH!!! See why I like my kids’ tv commercial-free?

The next morning, as we were getting packed up and ready to leave for home, we had the Olympics on again. Sophie wasn’t at all pleased with that. “I want to watch Disney XD!” She complained. “I want to watch the TOY commercials!! You know, like for Stompeez and SeatPets!”

“Well, we’re going to watch the Olympics.” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“But I like the commercials!” she whined.

“Why do you like them so much?”

“Because toy commercials are SO COOL! I love toys!”

Yaaaay.

I hadn’t had the honor of seeing a commercial for “Stompeez” so I asked her to explain them to me. Here’s how that went.

Me: Sophie, what are Stompeez? I don’t know what you mean.

Sophie: You know, they’re like animals you wear on your feet, and when you stomp they open their eyes. They are sooo cool. Kids LOVE Stompeez.

Me: Kids love Stompeez?

Sophie: Yeah, Kids LOVE Stompeez. They love them.

Me: How do you know they love Stompeez?

Sophie: Because I saw them on TV and it said on TV “Kids love Stompeez.” So they do!

Me: Excuse me while I go bang my head on a table. Back in a sec.

Since I hadn’t seen the commercial, I Googled the oh-so-lovable Stompeez when we arrived home from our vacation. And this, THIS my friends is what I found:

AHHHH!!! OHMAH EYES!!!! IT HURTS!! MY EYEEEEEESS! TURN IT OFF! SUNGLASSES! SOMEONEGETMESOMESUNGLASSES!! IT BURNS!!!!!

I double-dog dare you to go to their site and watch the video and see how many seconds you can stand before your eardrums burst and blood starts flowing our of your ears. I made it 17 seconds. Which, if you try it, I think you’ll agree was pretty darn heroic of me.

And people, I do NOT want to know what the bonus mystery gift that comes with each Stompeez purchase is. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I had a nightmare last night about the multiple horrendous possibilities. I mean what if I excitedly open my package of brand-new Stompeez and a severed head comes rolling out?? Come on!!

So let me just say, our decision to be cheap and have lame-o TV has never felt so right.

And if any of you gets Sophie some Stompeez or a SeatPet for her next birthday, I will use said item to kill you. I don’t know how, but I’ll get creative and I’ll make sure it hurts.

And in the future? I pity the fool that lets my kids watch real TV!