I happened to glance at a status update from the Dayton Daily News on Facebook, and saw this terrifying headline:
The deer population is expected to be up 25,000 this year, presenting a greater risk for deer-vehicle accidents.
*Shudder.*
Most people see these little creatures and say “Aww…”
I see them and it makes me want to vomit.
You see, many moons ago when I was a new driver, my sister and I were coming home from our grandma’s house in the evening and a deer ran out in front of our car. I slammed on the brakes, but I still hit it. Or, more accurately, the deer sort of flopped onto the hood, bounced off and ran back the way he had come. My car was just dented (it looked like someone had thrown a basketball at it), but I was shaken.
I have been paranoid of deer ever since. (Me? Paranoid? I know – shocker.)
My crippling fear quickly became a joke among my family and friends, and once, during high school, I came home to find one of these on my front porch:
My adventures with deer didn’t stop then, unfortunately. Earlier this fall there was an incident that involved me running through our neighborhood at the same time a deer was running through our neighborhood (I have never run so fast in my life). I can’t do it justice through the written word. But it was pretty much exactly like this:
It was horrible.
So anyway, hearing that the population of those nasty lovely creatures is UP by 25,000 – 25,000!!! – was not exactly what I wanted to hear. In fact, I thought it must be a misprint – surely they meant it was up to 25,000. But no, it turns out that the deer population has gone from 700,000 to 725,000.
725,000!!!! That is three quarters of a million! Deer! In OHIO.
Hold me.
Of course, more deer equals more crashes. According to the article, last “November saw the most crashes last year with 6,043 — an average of 200 per day.” So at least we have that to look forward to next month.
Our family is getting a head start on the deer hitting season, however. Last week, Andy called me early one morning to say he had hit a deer on the way to Sam’s babysitter’s house. Fortunately, they were fine, but the deer was not so lucky. (Unfortunately, our car was fine as well – but I will admit that my first thought after hearing they were ok was “ooooh maybe the car’s totaled!”). Sammy didn’t know what happened – he heard the thud and said “Hey, who did that?!?” but since he didn’t realize it was a deer, I’m hoping he’ll avoid the same post-traumatic stress disorder that’s plagued me for years.
In any case, I have a very bad attitude toward these furry friends, and frankly I wish they’d just GO AWAY. But no, no… instead they’re rapidly multiplying.
Kate is much more compassionate, and when I told her Andy had hit one with his car, she was actually worried about the beast. She told me, “Mommy, I know you don’t like them, but they are animals and we need to care about them too” or something along those lines. All I heard was “blah, blah, blah.”
When does hunting season start? I’ll be the one sounding the horn. But I will not be the one waiting in trees for days at a time with pee (purposefully) all over me. I’ll leave that to the experts.
Go get ’em.
