Your husband says “Don’t worry about folding the laundry. Let’s just go to bed and watch cartoons.”
Not that this happened to me or anything….
At the Games of the 50 Bajillionth Olympiad…
Good news, my friends! Sophia Diane is going to be a gold medalist in either Olympic diving or gymnastics in about 16 years. Let’s hope these athletic accomplishments also come with lots of paid endorsements after the fact because she is going to need a lot of money to keep her mother in a very plush, ritzy, padded LOONEY BIN. I mean, she is definitely going to send me to the looney bin so I really want it to be a nice one. I received this vision of her future just this morning and I am quite certain of its accuracy. Let me set the scene for you!
I was running a bath for the kids, when the running water made me have to go tinkle. So, I sat on the toilet as one does in this situation. Sophia, meanwhile, was holding onto the side of the tub with one hand, leaning forward to stick her hand in the running water. Then, all of a sudden, she decided this was BORING and she VAULTED herself into the bathtub. When I say vaulted, I mean, she pushed herself off the side of the tub with both hands and FLIPPED into the bathtub. How? I have NO IDEA, so it must just be innate talent. Whether she will apply said talent to Olympic diving or Olympic gymnastic remains to be seen.
I let out a screech and jumped up off the pot. Adrenaline must’ve stopped my bladder, thank God, so I didn’t pee all over myself. I leapt over to the tub and found Sophie sitting up, fully clothed (including shoes), soaking wet, and very pleased with herself! She was very displeased with me when I pulled her out of the tub and began thrashing and wailing, and getting me soaked. I quickly stripped her and put her back in the tub. Then I got out my flask of brandy to soothe my nerves. JUST kidding. I ate three Hershey bars. JUST kidding again, but if I HAD three Hershey bars I totally would’ve pounded them down in quick succession!!!
She’s CRAZY!
Sophie, when you are reading this years from now, remember that Mommy carried you for nine months and nursed you for infinity (because you are never going to let me wean you) and that she wants a very nice, cozy, luxurious, lavish, over-the-top suite at the ritziest LOONEY BIN around!
Now GO FOR THE GOLD, baby girl! Your official training starts the day after New Year’s. We’ve got to get an edge on the competition!
WFMW: Reindeer Food!
We leave cookies out for Santa, but what about the reindeer? They’ve got to be hungry after flying all the way around the world!
The solution? Reindeer food!
Reindeer food is also a solution for another problem – what to send with your kids to their Christmas party at school, daycare or church… and it’s not more junk food or yet another trinket!
My friend at work gave me this idea and if you google “reindeer food” you can find several variations. The one I liked best is just raw oatmeal and colored sugar (some recipes use glitter but that’s not good for the birds… and besides, glitter is messy!). I put about a 1/2 cup of the mixture into a sandwich bag, tied it with ribbon and attached a tag that contained a poem. It turned out pretty cute!
Here are a couple pics:
Here’s what the gift tag says:
Sprinkle on the lawn at night,
The moon will make it sparkle bright.
Santa’s reindeer fly and roam,
This will guide them to your home!
If you’re really motivated, you can layer the ingredients in a baby food jar – super cute! The instructions and a picture of that can be found here.
I’d also like to point out that this project is extremely budget-friendly as well! The oatmeal I bought was $1, and I got the colored sugar from the Target dollar bin (I used 3 containers of it, though). I had the baggies and the ribbon already.
And here is the file for the poem! reindeer-food.doc
Cute, simple and cheap – that works for me!
For more Works for Me Wednesday tips, check out Rocks in my Dryer!