So then I got braces.

Well… my braces are on. In the past few weeks I’ve found the internet to be void of information/stories about adults getting braces (except Tricia, who commented on my first post), so I’m going to share my experience.

If I knew how to make this post google friendly and SEO maximized or whatever, it might be of value, but I don’t, so…

At least all four of you regular readers will see it.

Anyway, I’ve had my braces on for nearly two weeks now. The process itself wasn’t too horrible – it took a couple of hours, but didn’t really hurt. The worst part was the bands they put around four back teeth to anchor the braces in place – having metal rings inserted between my teeth was not terribly pleasant, but it wasn’t awful. And, the person putting them on said I was the first patient she has ever had whose teeth all required the same size bands, so at least I have that going for me.

They told me to eat lunch when I left because I’d have a couple of hours before the pain set in, so I followed their instructions and hit the Wendy’s drive through on the way home. It didn’t hurt to eat at that point, but Lord have mercy I was not prepared for how complicated eating had become. It was pretty much impossible for me to get food to an area in my mouth where I could then swallow it. By the time I was done, three-fourths of my sandwich was stuck in my braces and I was convinced I was going to have to eat alone for the next 12-15 months, lest I completely repulse my dining companions.

Then the pain set in.

For about four days I couldn’t chew a thing. My teeth were super sore, to be sure, but I had expected that. What I had not anticipated was how freaking sore my tongue was going to be! There are brackets on the insides of the four teeth where the bands are, and there are metal bars along the roof of my mouth and under my tongue – all of which cut my tongue to pieces. I sent a particularly attractive tongue-selfie to Jenny to demonstrate how it was pretty much being cut in half by this device. It hurt to chew, it hurt to talk – it just hurt. A lot. There’s suddenly all this extra stuff in my mouth, but there’s no room for it! My tongue is already taking up too much space! But, after about a week, that subsided too.

Yesterday I added rubber bands to the mix. They are making my mouth a little sore, but nothing like the first round. However, now I have to sleep with braces, my FR device, AND rubber bands in my mouth.

Dead sexy, I tell you.

So, overall things are going okay. This stage is better than the FR device, I think. While I can’t take my braces out the way I could the FR, they are much less noticeable (I had been getting some weird looks) and impede my speech a lot less – a definite plus. It’s going to take some getting used to – I have to spend a lot more time paying attention to my teeth than I ever did before. I have to carry around a toothbrush and toothpaste because I’m supposed to brush after I eat or drink anything, I have to take the rubber bands in and out, and it just seems like a lot. I’m sure I’ll get used to it before too long, though. As I keep telling myself, if teenagers can handle this nonsense, surely I can as well.

Let the face-expansion begin.