Yesterday I read The Crunchy Domestic Goddessâ€™ post about her three-year-old saying something very â€œcrappyâ€ (please go read it), and I was inspired to let you all in on the latest tidbits that have been flowing forth from the cute little lips of my three-year-old son and Emily’s three-year-old daughter.
Letâ€™s start with Tuesday afternoon. Joshua and I were eating lunch at the dining room table when he all of a sudden said, for no apparent reason: â€œI donâ€™t have private parts. I just have nipples.â€ (I have told him to call my breasts Mommyâ€™s private parts.)
Then, a couple hours later, I was sitting on our love seat, about to nurse Sophie. Joshua was sitting on our other couch, opposite me. When he saw I was about to feed his sister, he starting waving his hands in protest. Here is what ensued:
Joshua: I wanna hug you!
Me: Come on over here and hug me then.
Joshua: I canâ€™t! Your private parts are out!
Me: You can still hug me.
Joshua: But your private parts are out!
I donâ€™t get the kid. My â€œprivate partsâ€ have been â€œoutâ€ like 50% of the time for the last nine months, so whatâ€™s the big deal now?
Fast forward to that evening. We had friends over for dinner, and after dinner we were all talking in the living room when I smelled that Sophie needed a diaper change. This was her sixth, yes I said sixth poop of the day, so her little hoo-ha was very red. Joshua watched as I dabbed diaper rash cream on her â€œprivate parts.â€ My husband and friends didnâ€™t hear the conversation Joshua and I had next:
Joshua: Why are you putting that on Sophieâ€™s pee-pee?
Me: Cause her pee-pee is sore, honey, and this will make it feel better.
Joshua: Oh thatâ€™s weird. Sophieâ€™s private parts are different than mine.
A few minutes later I took Sophie up to bed. Apparently as soon as I was out of sight, Joshua said to my hubby and our friends, â€œMy private parts arenâ€™t sore.â€ Of course they had no idea what he was talking about! I just love it when the little guy talks about his goods to the company! They enjoyed my explanation when I came back into the room. We know these friends really well or I might have been worried!
But these arenâ€™t as bad as what Kate said to Emily the other night. She, like Amy the Crunchy Domestic Goddess, really took one from her little girl! They were out for dinner and sitting at a restaurant booth (Emily says, in defense of herself, that she was hunched over in said booth, but we’ll have to get the real story from Kate) when Kate said, â€œMommy, why does your belly have steps?”
Ouch! Pull the dagger out quickly, Kate! Now thatâ€™s crappy!