That will not be the title of the next hit show on the Food Network.
Jenny and I have a little running commentary regarding our beliefs on cake-baking. She believes she should slave over bake her kids’ birthday cakes herself (you may have heard her mention her neurosis and its accompanying anxiety attacks here or here, or perhaps here, here or here). I believe that my kids should have beautiful birthday cakes, so I do what any rational person would do and call the local bakery.
And here’s why.
Saturday I was looking for an afternoon activity to do with the kids, so I decided we should run over to Target and get a Halloween cake mix and icing (as well as the various and sundry other things that always wind up in my cart there), and use this lovely cake pan to make a pumpkin-shaped cake.
I’ve had this cake pan for a while, but I’d never used it. The package showed pictures of cakes decorated like basketballs, baseballs, tennis balls and the like, and I thought it might come in handy someday. And it was on sale. So anyway, I could just picture the lovely pumpkin Kate and I would make.
Except I accidentally threw away the directions for using the pan, and they are not to be found anywhere on the internet. So I wasn’t sure whether or not to grease the pan (I guessed no, and I guessed wrong), how full to fill each cup (less full than I did), or how long and at what temperature to bake it (350 for like six hours).
So when we eventually pulled it out of the oven, I detected a problem when I tried to get the first section out of the pan. It was, uh, slightly stuck, and about 1/3 of it remained in the pan (see above re: greasing the pan).
Crap.
I soldiered on and took out the rest of the sections, having only marginally better success than with the first, and when I arranged it in a circular shape… well, it was a disaster.
But a little icing can fix anything, right?
Yeah, not so much.
I iced it… and here’s what it looked like (I only wish I was the experienced food photographer that Erin is, because really these pictures just don’t do the cake justice. They make it look better than it did in real life. I’m serious.)
Then Kate put (waaaaaay too many) sprinkles on… Behold our masterpiece.
It was so unappealing that we had no interest in eating it. Cake usually does not stand a chance around our house, but this one sits on the kitchen counter, untouched.
That, my friends, is why I will never, ever make my kids’ birthday cakes.
I bet it tastes wonderful! I can’t believe it didn’t get eaten.
Wow. You make me look like Martha Stewart! Thanks, cousin!
Next year’s Halloween baking project – go to the grocery store and get premade cupcakes! I’m so with you on that one!
Perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Even Daniel came over to have a chuckle 🙂 On your behalf, I have a similar mini-loaf pan that, greased or not, never works!
That first photo? I thought it was lumps of raw meat. But I would have eaten it anyway. I mean, it’s cake, right?
Again, I say, Kroger has a bakery dear.
UP
I totally loved this read. I’m afraid I’m much like my niece, Jenny. I’m ah-hem…60, my girls are in thier ah-hem…30’s and I still guilt trip at every birthday, b/c they didn’t get a homemade BD cake from yours truly. I was pretty annal about it when they were young and still at home. I once spent 7 & half hours on a Holly Hobby Doll Cake. You remember Holly Hobby, right. Oh no, dating myself again. But trust me you do no harm to your little ones with a store bought cake. Mine whined about a Christmas tree that came out of a box, b/c all their friends’ trees did! Fake tree, well I never, but I did. One thing though, you’ve created a memory that you’ll all laugh about in future and you have the pictures to keep that memory alive. Great job, Emily.
LOL! I’m with you. I usually buy our cakes too. If I make it, it tastes good, but it ain’t purty.
too many sprinkles?? is that possible?? 🙂
I am sorry Em, but that is hilarious!! I am glad that you tried it out though!! That is awesome!
Haha–you crack me up! I just made a dump truck cake for my son’s b-day party this weekend. It looked so easy, and I’m not a total diaster in the kitchen, so it should have been a piece of cake (omg, I crack myself up). Well, seems my loaf pan was not big enough, so my truck was a little smaller than the picture. Then the back part kept sliding down… It ended up looking like a race car with a bunch of “dirt” (crushed cookies, pretzels, and reese’s pieces) on the back. He loved it so who cares. But, what a debacle!!
PS – One secret to a great cake is Baker’s Joy. It’s the spray with flour in it. I have a rose shaped pan from W-S that I would have disaster after disaster with even after spraying, buttering, buttering and flouring, whatever. No matter what the recipe says, I usually spray the whole pan with Baker’s Joy. Cakes come out with no problem every time.
LMAO! Good luck with that next time!
Love it! I too feel I must make my kids’ cakes, so I can understand that. Even my ugliest ones have been tasty though, so you horde that one for yourself for all of your hard work and heartache since no one else wants it. =)
LOL. Thanks for the smiles. I have baked almost all my five kids birthday kids. I’m infamous for burning cookies, and myself. When it comes to cakes, I keep it very simple. I’ve never attempted fancy pans, and always grease and flour my pans. I do however, love it if one of my kids requests and ice cream cake because it lets me off the hook. I’m also a big pusher of the birthday cupcake. It’s kind of hard to mess those up. My idea of baking with Summer is buying the store bought cookie dough, or premade shaped cookie dough and putting them on a cookie sheet after preheat the oven. I’d also reccoment the already made sheet of pillsbury brownies from Sam’s club. If you cut them and put them on a plate, no one will know you did not bake them. I many self helps for how to look like a sucessful homemaker, and baker. My kids know, but don’t usually rat me out.
Actually, you made the perfect Halloween cake, ’cause that’s the scariest thing to come out of an oven since Hansel and Grethel!
My husband is a very greedy country boy. he would have eaten it all without missing a beat.
I love you guys!! You are both so down to earth and funny!! I wish I could hang out with you on a regular basis, but I’ll take reading your blog and cracking up all by myself since I live in NH