Jenny’s Life Klass: How Not to Dress Your Daughter

LifeKlassFinal

Welcome to another edition of Jenny’s Life Klass! If you’ve missed our past installments, let me catch you up. Basically, how this works is: I tell you what to do, and you do it. All clear? K, let’s jump in! Today I’m going to tell you what kind of clothes NOT to put on your precious little daughter.

You see folks, Valentine’s Day is in the bag, which means Easter bunnies and swimsuits have invaded all the department stores. And along with that comes a bevy of special-occasion dress choices for your little girl.

Now if you’ve got a little girl, you may have noticed that, as Emily so brilliantly articulated awhile back, it has become difficult to find clothes for a six-year-old that don’t make her look like a streetwalker.

Granted, there are a few good choices still out there. But they are usually side by side with a more sluterrific choice. Exhibit A, from a national department store we all have in our communities:

dresscollage2

Moms and Dads, I’m not asking much of you here today. Only that you dress your daughter in age-appropriate clothing. Just because they sell it, and just because it’s attractive (because it may be!), doesn’t mean your kindergartener should be wearing it.

Check out this little number. It’s totally cute. For an older teenager. But it’s available in girls’ sizes 4-16! The website description says: “She’ll turn heads in a darling zebra-print chiffon dress with fit-and-flare styling and a one-shoulder look. Pink sequins at the waist add a fun pop of color.”

Totally appropriate for a 7-year-old, right?
Totally appropriate for a 7-year-old, right?

Um. Uhh. My daughter is 6. And she is a very pretty little girl. She does not need to be TURNING HEADS in a one-shoulder zebra-and-sequin number. Because she’s a little girl. Who should be wearing corduroy and smocked cotton instead of sequined chiffon.

Stupid dress designers. Trying to make my little girl se*xy.

Call me crazy, but it really burns my biscuits! Why is this:

sears1

and this:

justice

and this:

justice2

Even available to purchase for girls under age 13?

EEEEK!

If you have purchased any of this type dress for your elementary-aged daughter, here is your homework:

1) Take the dress back or throw it away. DO NOT give it away to another underage child!

2) Cancel your daughter’s spray tan appointment.

3) Take out her tongue ring.

4) Buy the child something with smocking and a big satin sash.

Ready, my friends? Go forth and dress your child in age-appropriate clothing! Buy dresses with not one but TWO shoulders! And cherish the innocence of your little girl while she’s got it. Don’t do anything to speed up its loss. Even if you get a really lucrative offer from a reality TV show.

Because once it’s gone, you can’t get it back.

Post to Twitter

9 Replies to “Jenny’s Life Klass: How Not to Dress Your Daughter”

  1. Thanks for this post! I have an almost 4 year old daughter who loves tutus and ballet shoes. I’ve heard about how hard it is to find age appropriate clothing as girls get older and hope she never asks me for a pair of sweat pants that say “Pink” on the bottom….I just learned the other day that these are marketed to tweens!! Ugh. Of course, the answer will be no.

  2. I actually saw that purple dress in a store and thought “Didn’t Julia Roberts where something just like that in Pretty Woman?!” It’s really really really sad. But the sad part is that dress designers wouldn’t make them if people didn’t buy them. It doesn’t make me sad…just nauseous.

  3. I agree that there are too many provocative clothing options available for little girls. However, I don’t necessarily think the first Zebra dress is one of them (looks of sturdy material anyway…would be better with two normal straps) 😉 the description isn’t necessary but I don’t think that one is particularly too bad…I remember wearing sun dresses as a little girl to keep cool in the summer…not appropriate for church but definitely not something that is on the do not buy list. I’m thinking 6 year olds or less…not older kids that are starting to blossom….

    I’m sure you are talking about Kohl’s because when we did go dress shopping for her for a school program, I was completely mortified by the dresses…they just look low class…….and the junior’s department, my high schooler and I were like WTH is going on here…at Christmas time there was a street walker looking skirt/shirt combo…seriously looked like something out of Pretty Woman.

  4. I love this! Lanie is only 18months old and some of the stuff for her is crazy! One thing that has always stuck out in my mind was a friend took her daughter to a Justin Beiber concert…her daughter was 6. At 6 my daughter has no business going to a JB concert much less and I going to promote her knowing that type of music and starting that type of “crush” at such an early age. Her daughter already had “Beiber Fever” posters in her room!! She should sitll be playing with barbies and listening to the Wheels on the Bus! I agree keep them little as long as we can! Noe sense in rushing through something we are going to wish with all our hearts one day we could get back! 🙂

  5. We had this same kind of challenge trying to find a decent bathing suit for our 7 year old last summer. She is tall with a long torso where one piece bathing suits do not fit her well. After much shopping be finally managed to find her a cute tankini bathing suit at Justice that actually cover her stomach and her bottom and everything else that should stay covered. But I could not believe the teeny tiny microscopic string bikinis being sold everywhere for her age group!

  6. I want to love this like a bazillion kagillian times. I’m going to go share this all over the place!!! As the mother of 3 young girls (6, 5, 2), I concur!!! Too too often I see little girls wearing things beyond their age…quite frankly, I think no one should ever wear clothes like most of these, including teens! But maybe I’m a bit prudish there…I’ll take it though.
    Thank you for this post!

  7. “Just because they sell it, and just because it’s attractive (because it may be!), doesn’t mean your kindergartener should be wearing it.”

    Yes!

Comments are closed.