What’s a BIGGER news story than Ebola?

*Updated with proof-of-humiliation link at bottom*

Let me tell you, friends, at age 37 my vanity still runs rampant. I like to have my face on. I do my makeup every morning before taking my son to 7:30 preschool. I’m so vain, I probably think this blog post is about me.

Perhaps the Lord thought I needed a lesson in this matter. I don’t know. But I can really think of NO other reason that a news van would pull up in front of my house at 6:30 on a damp fall Thursday night when I was out with my kids (and their friends who were sleeping over – we’re off school today) when I had my hair in a messy bun, had not even ONCE had lipstick on that day, and for some reason my trusty eyeliner that stays on really well? Had been down around my chin for some time.

I mean, I will tell you, I AM NEVER outside playing with the kids at 6:30 on a weeknight, much less a slightly chilly, wet weeknight. So I guess it was fate when the news van with a statuesque reporter and bearded hipster camera man pulled up to the ONE house where someone was actually OUTSIDE in the city of Dayton.

The reporter explained to me that the City of Dayton had announced it didn’t have much salt for the coming winter and basically we are going to be trapped in our homes all winter and may have to eat each other to survive (maybe I made up that last part.) I declined to be interviewed because I LOOKED A MESS!!!! I explained to her that me not having my makeup and hair done was a MUCH bigger crisis than the whole SALTGATE but she begged and blinked her Barbie-like eyes and while I was thinking “I wonder if those eyelashes are real?” I accidentally said YES.

And then the cheers of four excited children erupted. Joshua and Sophie and their friends Chris and Chloe where FREAKING OUT behind me. So, so excited that OH MY GOSH THE NEWS! IS HERE! IN OUR YARD! WE ARE GOING TO BE ON TV!

SO I answered questions about SALTGATE. Then I pushed Jonah on the swing so they could take footage while the kids acted like circus performers behind me. And then Miss Ohio Reporter 2014 and LEGO Hipster Camera Guy left. And the kids still jumped around hysterically for another 10 minutes about their IMPENDING FAME while I commiserated with a party of one about my impending SHAME. Sigh.

Of course we let them stay up until 10 to watch the news…which started out with “Well Ebola was in Ohio, but first, THE  BIG STORY!”

SALTGATE was the BIG STORY.

WE were the BIG STORY.

My makeup-less face on a brutally large screen was THE BIG STORY.

But in our house, the real big story was four crazy, excited, adorable, cartwheel-turning, ninja-moving kids who were acting like crazy people on camera, and who had like the BEST NIGHT EVER. Bobby and I DIED laughing at their antics, and they were FLYING HIGH after we watched it.

So, I guess my embarrassment was worth it.

BUT.

I’m thinking about getting eyeliner permanently tattooed on my face. That’s probably necessary, right??

(When I first posted this the link to this stellar piece of journalism was not online, but now, here it is, for your viewing pleasure: riiiight here).

 

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16 Replies to “What’s a BIGGER news story than Ebola?”

  1. Congrats! Your family got to provide a distraction from all of the ebola news! I would have loved to have seen LEGO Hipster!

  2. I saw it with my own two eyes, so it happened. It was taped at the end of my “progrem” and I was like, “What??” And you looked beautiful, no matter what you say!

  3. One of my friends posted on my timeline that she saw you and that you looked great. I agree…you looked very pretty and I am glad the kids got excited about it.

  4. Ok I love this story. But seriously girl, you do not know the meaning of ‘no makeup’… Or do your eyes just naturally look that amazing?? I say it could have been far worse and had it been me these days I’m quite sure they would have caught me in my glasses and strawberry shortcake jammie pants. Oh the whole, jenny, well done and looking good. 😉

    And I love the kids reaction so much, and not even bc I could see my kids doing this, but even more so I could imagine myself as a kid acting exactly like that. Too cute!

  5. I’m right there with you! I do not leave my house without my hair & makeup done. I am vain and I’m okay with that.
    And I watched the video, and you looked great!

  6. You are adorable. The snow policy is STUPID!! I hope for your sake there is not much snow!! I would hate for you to have to eat your children! 🙂

  7. Jenny I thought you looked amazing! Much better than I would look if I was out playing with my kids, and you were very well-spoken too!

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