Today it’s my turn for a pre-travel freak out… but mine is nothing like Jenny’s – it’s not about a to-do list or panicking because I can’t keep my weekend schedule straight.
That’s because I’m already packed and have my schedule memorized, my house is perfectly clean, everything’s set for the four different people who will be taking shifts caring for my kids, and I’m completely ready to go.
(Oh wait, absolutely none of that is true.)
But no, my pre-travel freak-out has more to do with something I cannot control… and that is Jenny’s behavior.
So, without further ado…
The Top Ten Ways I’m Afraid Jenny Will Embarrass Me at BlogHer!
10. She’ll bowl. You may not know this about Jenny, but she’s not the most, um, athletically gifted among us.
9. She’ll blow our cover. We are a big deal! We have astounding traffic and make the big bucks. Seriously, people, believe me!
8. She’ll talk about poop. She has the tendency to do this, as you well know.
7. She’ll get tipsy after 1/8th of a drink. Actually, I’m ok with that as long as I get the remaining 7/8th!
6. She’ll call me crying, not sure where she’s supposed to be or how to get there. I’ve tried to alleviate this possibility by making a very detailed Excel spreadsheet listed each day in half hour increments and complete with hyperlinks to Google Maps, but I still think this is an entirely likely scenario.
5. She’ll call me crying when she gets stuck in an elevator. We’ve been there, done that, people, and I’m not sure whether she, I or the entire blogosphere can go through that again.
4. She’ll show up to every session and party sweaty and smelly because she insists on taking the stairs (see above). Again, we’ve been there, done that… not pretty. Remember the Yanni Voices concert? She wouldn’t get in the elevator then either, and made poor pregnant Erin and Erin’s unsuspecting husband hoof it with her.
3. She’ll get tipsy (see item 7) and tell all my secrets. Again, a very real possibility.
2. She’ll dance. I have a very strict no-dancing policy, and I hold her to that standard as well. Believe me, you do not want to see either of us dance.
and finally my number one way I’m afraid Jenny will embarrass me at BlogHer…
1. She’ll make me hug people. Hugs, as defined, by Jenny are the BEST. Hugs, as defined by Emily, are an incredibly awkward social custom. So if you see us there and she tries to smother you with kisses and I stand back and say “Hello, nice to meet you,” know that it’s not you, it’s me.
(I love you, Cousin! I’m just kidding about all of this. Sort of.)
For more Top Ten Tuesday, head over to Oh Amanda!
You didn’t seem to have any problem hugging ME!!!!
I love Jenny hugs! I’m pretty sure some of your worries are valid though.
YOU 2 CRACK ME UP…..HAVE FUN!
I don’t hug. I don’t get hugged! Remember, I teach high school…And I no longer shake hands! I do the Ghetto Bump thing if someone insists on touching me. GO EMILY!! (I think Emily is an old German name meaning “has hand sanitizer in her purse!”)
I love this! And really…it may have been worth a trip to BlogHer to see Jenny (and/or you) do this! š
OH, it’s on…I’m gonna hug you like you never been hugged before child.
We need an anti-hugging section. See yesterday’s post http://thediaperdiaries.net/the-unwelcome-welcome-blogher-09-week/
Ok, FIRST of all, I plan to top by high bowling score of 112 at BowlHer. Which is pretty darn good anyways, especially if you are in 6th grade when you get that score, like I was when I got it.
Secondly, the elevator thing is NOT FUNNY.
Thirdly, I will probably NOT dance but there is a VERY GOOD CHANCE that I will sing karaoke and dedicate a song to you so, keep your ears peeled.
And finally, I am not the one who TWEETED about purchasing PROPHYLACTICS in preparation for a BLOGGING conference, so I think I need to be a wee bit more nervous about your behavior than you need to be about mine!
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Oh, ye olde cousin smackdown of BlogHer.
Just kidding. I’m not sure why I felt the need to write that.
Jenny, do not make anyone walk up stairs. That’s just not right. But if you can somehow make Jill from Diaper Diaries and Emily hug? That deserves a whole blog post, not just a twitpic that I might miss.
(I kid, girls! Have so much FUN!!!)
I got hives reading that first part. I am not packed. I’m not even sure I know what I’m wearing, and I certainly don’t have a schedule. I’m glad you were kidding.
I’m a little worried about hugging. It’s just that I’m very tall and I feel like I scare people, ya know. Plus, what if I go to hug someone I stalk and they’re like Whoa, who are you? Awkward.
Also, I should get drunk with Jenny because I’m a total lightweight as well. Could be funny.
awwww š
Didn’t you just list a few of the reasons why we love our Jenny? .-) ha ha.
Love it. Can’t wait to see y’all again!
so funny! you and jill @DiaperDiaries must be friends! no hugs allowed…and especially no belly rubs!
I can’t wait to meet the COUSINS at BlogHer!!! Jenny I will totally dance with you, ok, maybe not, unless of course I’ve had some liquid encouragement first. I’m a hugger too, but I totally respect non-huggers.
Have a safe trip and I’ll see you both TOMORROW!!
I love you two! I can’t wait for the laughing and having fun to being!
OK. Love this. Can’t wait to spend more time with you and Jenny this weekend.
And I’ll be standing in the non-nugging section with Diaper Diaries and you. Because you know what’s even more awkward than hugging alone? When you’re 5’10 and get a surprise hug by someone who is like 5’5 and you try to position yourself just right but you’re awkward about hugs and it just doesn’t work out and the small person just ends up getting smooshed in your big bewbs.
Aw-kward
dave lettermen has nothing on you when it comes to top 10’s. that list was so clever!
I got stuck in the Arch in St Louis for about 2 hours with no info as to why we were just sitting in the compartment waiting to get to the topother than a “there is a mechanic on duty” message over a speakerfone. If you have never been in the arch it makes the average elevator look like a state!!!