Two days after my paternal grandmother passed away last month, on Valentine’s Day, we moved my maternal grandmother, mine and Emily’s Grandma Burns, into an assisted living apartment, because she has Alzheimer’s and can no longer live alone safely.
This all happened very fast, and started with her having a fall on Christmas Eve brought about by dehydration. She wasn’t remembering to drink and her brain wasn’t telling her body that it needed hydration. So, from Christmas Day to Valentine’s Day we had a ton of changes in our family, the end result of which is, that we still have our Grandma to love but we no longer have her house to go to. I mean it’s there, but if she’s not in it, it’s just a building.
Grandma’s house was where I met my first friends – my cousins, Emily and Anna. It was where we went for Sunday comfort food and family. Where we had the very best sleepovers. Where the supply of Oreos, ice cream. home-baked goodies, cheese curls, games of hide-and-seek, and LOVE was truly limitless.
Grandma’s house was the happiest place on earth.
Last Sunday all the grandchildren gathered at Grandma’s house to divide up her possessions that she can no longer use and enjoy, even though she is still alive.
Having done this recently with my Grandma Brads’ things after her funeral, I can tell you that it sucks so much more dividing up the things of a loving grandparent who is still alive. It. Was. Rough.
The rooms we spent such happy times in were all laid out with the articles of a quiet collector’s life. Grandma did her best to never get rid of a thing.
We all took what we could.
It will help one day, to know that I have something she enjoyed.
But right now the things are pretty hard to look at.
I’d give anything to go back for one more day at Grandma’s House, just the way it was.
Even though it made me smile to see everyone find things of Mother’s that would keep her alive in their hearts,
The whole experience was a tad unnerving. It is hard to let go, and Mrs. Burns just as Mother would be would be glad to know that you love the things she loved.
I’m so sorry, Jenny. You’re so right — this situation sucks mightily. It is so awkward — trying to honor our loved ones while dispersing their belongings. My mom has “mild cognitive impairment” and we are waiting for test results to rule out early stages of dementia or Alzheimers. She moved into a small duplex a month ago and we’ve had many, many battles over the meaningless stuff (even the broken, useless items) that is left in her house.
I’ve always felt that Heaven doesn’t need to be any better than my grandma’s house. It’s no longer there, yet it will always be the home of my heart.
Thank you, Jenny. It is very sweet.
I’m so sorry Jenny. My heart breaks for you. I lost a grandma and a grandpa within months of each other. I was only 18 and it was awful. I remember going through her things and I didn’t want anything, I just wanted another Sunday dinner or to sleep with my grandma one more night. 18 years later, I’m so glad I have a few things from her.