There’s a circular pattern in my life that I’ve been replicating now for approximately 12 years. Here’s how it goes.
I get super depressed. –> A doc prescribes me an antidepressant. –> I become a nicer person. –> I decide there’s some reason I should no longer take said antidepressant and quit. –> I get super depressed.
It’s so much fun, you should try it sometime.
The thing is, I think I’m just one of those people who does better with a little help in the chemical balancing act. There’s nothing particularly difficult about my life – in fact, everything is really, really good. Or it should be. But since I got the bright idea to wean off my antidepressant a couple months ago, I have been struggling. I am struggling with energy and motivation, I’ve got a short temper, I cry at the drop of a hat.
I had a major emotional breakdown over dog hair a couple weeks ago. It was not a good sign.
I just do better on antidepressants. I’m less anxious and I am way less OCD. I’m able to turn off the negative, self-destructive voices in my head and I don’t curse as much.
(Okay, I am totally making up that last part.)
I’m a better wife/mother/employee/PERSON when I’m on them. And let’s HOPE I’m a better blogger – I was just searching for an example of a funny post I’ve written recently, and let me tell you – I couldn’t find ANYTHING worthwhile. So, uh, sorry about that.
Anyway, this afternoon, I am waving the white flag and asking my doc to write me yet another prescription. Here’s hoping I’m back to normal soon.