A Walk on the Wild Side

Ok so last Friday, Andy and I had this big night planned – we were going to go see one of our very favorite singer/songwriters, Todd Snider, play at the Southgate House in Newport, Kentucky, and since I had won a free night’s stay at the Hyatt from Jo-Lynne it was my birthday, we were going to stay in Cincinnati for the night. And to add to our already exciting plans, my girl Amy in Ohio was going to the concert too – I was soooooper pumped.

We started off the evening at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Margaritas, and then we were ready to head to the concert. We stepped out on the sidewalk to hail a cab, when Andy said “You know, we could just walk. It can’t be that far.”

“Look, we can see Kentucky.”

He was right, and after a few margaritas big dinner, it sounded like a pretty good idea.

So off we went.

Let me provide some visual aids so you can in fact see what geniuses we are.

Here’s where we were:

And here’s where we needed to be:

So, here’s what we should have done:

But here’s what we did:

As you can see, we walked across the wrong (and completely terrifying, I might add) bridge, and then walked in a GIANT circle around the fine city of Covington, KY, before winding up at the foot of said terrifying bridge once again.

At that point, I sent this text message to my good friend and Northern Kentucky native Emilie:

“We thought we could walk to the Southgate House from Margaritas on 5th St.. We’ve been walking in bleeping circles around covington and we are still miles away.”

Her response?

“Oh no! if you’re in covington you’re a long bleeping way from southgate house. Hope u wore comfy shoes”

Grrrrreat.

By this point we decided that a cab was the most prudent choice for the remainder of our journey, but since they aren’t found in abundance in the fine city of Covington, KY, we had to stop and ask a nice hostess at a neighborhood restaurant to call one for us. As we waited, I got a call from Amy asking where the heck we were. I told her the truth – we were waiting for a cab in Covington – but failed to mention the sojourn that had gotten us there.

Oh, and the best part? All this time I had the brand new Garmin my dad had given me just hours earlier in my purse. Of course, that did not occur to me until the following day.

Finally, our cab came and we arrived safely at the Southgate House. We went upstairs to find not only Amy and her husband but also Shannan, who had no idea who Todd Snider was but wanted to hang out with me and Amy enough to give up her Friday night anyway.

Before long, though, the story of our hike through the hills of my old Kentucky home came out.

Shannan said “I feel so bad – Amy told me you are staying in Covington. I could have picked you up – I drive right through there.”

“Well… we’re actually staying at the Hyatt. We just thought we’d walk over here, but then we ended up taking a cab once we got to Covington.”

Shannan looked at me quizzically. “You tried to walk here from downtown Cincinnati?” she said slowly, as though she were trying to process completely illogical information.

“Yeah,” I said. “We could see Kentucky.”

“Hahahahhahaha you could see Kentucky!” she burst out laughing. “Oh, you cute northerners.”

Cute, dumb… take your pick.

Anyway…we had such a good time. The Captain Morgan music was great, but the company was better. I just love those girls. I wanted to squeeze them. I get all oogly when I think about it – it was just the greatest night.

I had warned Amy earlier in the day that I was likely to get tipsy really excited and express my undying love for her.

I don’t think she or I either one anticipated that the expression of love would be found on the bathroom wall.

So Jenny? In terms of the list of things I should do during my 30s? You can mark “tight rope walk across the Ohio River” and “Deface public property” off the list.