Girl loves her some Fancy Nancy books!

A couple of weeks ago Quaker asked me to tell you about an “at-last” accomplishment, something I’d worked on that was worth the time and effort, and I did.  And also gave away some cash from Quaker as well, in celebration of the fact that they FINALLY started making Quaker oatmeal cookies!  That first accomplishment I wrote about, working on our “Fun Room” in our house, was easy for me to think of and write about.  But when it came time to write a second post on the topic, I faltered.  Nothing monumental came to mind.  And then…it hit me.  We did have a major accomplishment in this house last month.

Something happened in February that I’d been waiting on for about 18 months. Waiting, anticipating, dreading, fearing, hoping, worrying…and then it snuck up on me, when it was time.  All of a sudden it was upon us and  it was easy, it was over, it was done – no big deal.   And yet a very huge deal.  When it happened I just wanted to kind of keep it to myself and cherish it for awhile.  I needed to sort it out and contemplate how I was feeling about it. But now I’m ready to  tell you.

Last month, I registered Sophie for kindergarten.

“Regular” kindergarten.  ”Normal”  kindergarten.  ”Mainstream” kindergarten.  Whatever you want to call it, the thing is, when we set out to help Sophie bulldoze her developmental delays, our main goal was to catch her up to her age group so that she could attend regular kindergarten.  And I am proud to say, that goal was accomplished!  Sophie will not be in “special ed” next year.  She has met her goals on her IEP and she’s done with therapy at school as well as privately.  She is now “typically developing”.  Little Miss Typical, I like to call her.  Although academically she is actually testing “advanced”. (Hey, I have to brag a LITTLE!)

I always  knew she could do it, in my heart I knew.  But when we first started this journey, the “what-ifs” were terrifying at times.

So this accomplishment, this meeting of our goals is a relief, and a quiet triumph – after all, kindergarten in general is a bittersweet thing!  But in it’s quietness, it’s HUGE, monumental, amazing, and joyful.  And I am so, so grateful for it.  When  August rolls around and Sophie heads off to kindergarten with her peers in her cute little uniform, I’m sure I’ll have some tears to shed.  But right now I am just grinning from ear to ear, enjoying the fruits of our work together, and enjoying my time with her before she marches off to full-day school.   My little girl.  I can’t wait to see what we accomplish together next!

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This post was sponsored by Quaker who asked me to tell you about something I accomplished that was worth all the time and hard work, like their “at-last” accomplishment – finally making delicious Oatmeal cookies after 14o years!  Stay tuned to the Quaker Cookies Facebook tab for yummy free sample offers coming soon!

She's cute. And she's planning a hostile takeover.

Sophie was stubborn and strong-willed from the moment she left the womb, and we’ve had our share of power struggles in the past, but since she’s come through her language delay, things have been much easier.  Until now.  Recently, girlfriend has decided to test me HARD in a couple of areas.  The power struggle is ON, and I am determined to let her know I am still the Alpha Female in this household.

The times Sophie most tries to assert herself as the one in “control” are when we are getting ready to get dressed or leave the house, and at dinner time.  Two or three times a week she will refuse to go potty/get dressed before school or gymnastics, or any random time when we need to get out the door.  Then, every night at dinner if there is something on her plate she doesn’t “like” (i.e. anything not fruit, yogurt, or peanut-butter related) she absolutely refuses  to eat it until she is threatened with punishment and/or I shovel the bites into her mouth for her.  She would rather go to her room for the rest of the evening thaan eat those bites.  She would rather lose iPad privileges than eat those bites.  She would give up TV, computer, Wii – anything before she’d eat those bites.  So I ALWAYS make her eat them, rather than “grounding” her from something.  But it takes lots of extra time and usually I am a little hot under the collar by the time all is said and done.

And, even though I have yet to let her “win” this one, she still does it every time she is offered food she doesn’t want to eat.  I know she is winning a partial victory just by causing so much inconvenience and irritation for me in the first place.  The other night I was pretty much convinced she is a sociopath. *Ahem*.

I pretty much just don’t know what to do with her, other than, as I have said many times, save my pennies for either a) her stay at boarding school or b) my stay in the looney bin in aabout 2021.

Which is why I had to laugh when TheMotherhood.com asked me to co-host a chat this Thursday, 3/15 at 1PM EST with a few other fab bloggers and Susan Stiffelman, the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles.   I saw the info about this talk in their newsletter and was totally going to attend anyway, so BONUS! Susan is a family therapist, and an officianado on parent-child power struggles, and she did, after all, write the book! She’s also the Parent Coach at the Huffington Post and I cant wait to hear what she has to say!  The talk is all-text, here at the Motherhood.com.  I hope you’ll join me and my co-hosts for some straight-forward talk about how to eliminate power struggles.  Perhaps after Thursday’s talk I’ll be able to start saving my pennies for something a little more exciting than a stay at the funny farm.  Like a stay at a spaaaaaaaaa.  Or a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew and Cadbury Creme eggs.  You know, something really valuable.

I hope you’ll join us on Thursday!  I’m not being compensated or sponsored for my participation, it’s just a topic I am really interested in and need to learn about right now, and I am glad to have a great interactive forum in which to do so.

I’d like to have some other viewpoints besides my own going into this, so tell me, what are some of the power struggles you have with your kids?

When we were having some downtime in our hotel during our President’s Day road trip, the kids were arguing over which movie to watch, so Bobby decided he would pick the movie for them.  His choice, Finding Nemo, caused Sophie to run from the room crying, and when Bobby went to try to talk to her about it, she responded with, “It’s RUINING MY LIFE!”

Poor girl.  Only five years old, and life’s already ruined.  By a movie that was made before she was born.  So, she really never had a chance.  C’est tragique, no?

Joshua and I were treated to another grand performance on Friday afternoon, when after I told Sophie that her turn playing Wii was over, she had a complete meltdown.  After she calmed down a bit, she still exiled herself to a corner where she spent ten minutes regaling us with a song that went something like this, “You can’t talk to me, because I’m sad. No one talk to me, because it’s not nice to talk to someone when they’re sad!  And it’s mean to make people feel sad!”

If she can just keep channeling that sadness, and take some voice lessons, girlfriend will be the next Adele in a few years.  I am confident the album Sophie: 9 will be a HUGE hit when she is in the third grade.

And when I watch her win her grammys for her follow-up albums over the years, on the tiny TV in my room at the freaking looney bin, I will be very, very proud.

she's just a wee bit proud of herself!

Yesterday my Sophie girl was discharged from occupational therapy. And as you may recall, she was discharged from speech therapy four weeks ago.  That same day, she was given her standardized test by her occupational therapist to see how far she’d come in the 6 months since she started OT.  Her scores were good, but I had to wait for the supervisor to evaluate her to see what they’d recommend.  I was thinking they’d say maybe another six weeks or so of therapy, maybe longer, honestly I was just hoping she’d be done by summer.  Unfortunately, due to schedule conflicts and family emergencies, (hers, not mine), the supervisor was unable to see Sophie until last week.  And after she evaluated her, she pronounced her “ready to be discharged”.  Woohoo!! I was thrilled!  I asked if she could come back one more time just for some closure since she loved her therapist so much.  And so, yesterday was her official discharge date.  I still can’t believe it!

Now, about 19 months after we started this journey to overcome Sophie’s delays, she is testing at or above age level in all areas.  She is reading well.  A couple of weeks ago her preschool teacher tested her on sight words and she knew them all up to and including third grade.  Today her teacher, Mr. G., told me, “Sophie did a beautiful job reading a book to two of her classmates today. It was just beautiful. Ms. M (the other teacher) and I were grinning from ear to ear.”

That’s right people, my girl rules the special school! And I know she will do great in “regular” school next year too. I really have no qualms about it.  I’ve never been in doubt about her level of intelligence, and here’s a good example.  After she graduated from speech, we gave her a present, a Snow White dress-up dress.  This got her little mind working, and the next day she said to me, “Mommy, when I graduate from OT I want Hello Kitty pajamas for my graduate present.” Girl was thinkin’.  And schemin’.

How could I resist?

I’m totally rambling here, I know.  But I am really having a hard time putting it all into words.  I am so immensely proud of my girl.  We worked so hard, we learned so much, but I am SO GLAD it’s OVER!  Relieved, proud, thankful.  My mom told me when this started, “The Lord made her and the Lord’s going to take care of her.”  And that was intensely true, every step of the way , clearly, obviously, completely.  God made Sophie just the way she is, and we’ve come through this closer and stronger and more prepared for whatever life may throw at us next.  And, I’ve really developed a passion for helping other parents of kids with delays, which I hope I can continue doing.

But I don’t have to drive to appointments, find sitters for the other kids, worry about health insurance, or PAY for any of it anymore! Yee-ha!!!

Way to go Sophie!

Yesterday was such a momentous day for our family, and especially for Sophie.  As I sit here I can still honestly hardly believe it.

Sophie was discharged from speech therapy yesterday.  She “graduated”, after 18 months of hard work.  When her first  evaluation score came back in October of 2010, when she’d only been in therapy for three months, her speech language pathologist estimated that she would need therapy for three to four years.

My Sophie girl did it in just eighteen months.

It wasn’t easy.  Sophie worked hard at therapy, and we both worked hard at home several times a week without fail to practice the skills her SLP wanted us to work on.  She also got speech in a group setting once a week at school, and attended a “Social Group” therapy with some other kids this summer while her SLP was on maternity leave.

I say it wasn’t easy, but it could have been a lot harder.  Yes, we worked, we worked a lot.  I was pretty militant about it.  But all of that time spent together was wonderful for Sophie and me.  We learned a lot from and about each other.  It helped our bond to really tighten. And Sophie proved herself to be a very fast learner.  Once she started working on a concept, she generally got it F-A-S-T.  She wowed me and her speech language pathologists time and time again with the speed with which she acquired new language skills.  I really could not be any prouder of her.

When Sophie’s SLP told me she was ready to discharge her, I wasn’t surprised, I knew it was coming soon.  But it is so bittersweet, because Sophie adores “Miss Kristen” and every single second she gets to spend with her!  Kristen and I both teared up during Sophie’s “graduation” today.

Sophie didn't want to wear the mortarboard

We'll miss you Miss Kristen!

Driving home from Sophie’s last session, I had to keep from doing the “ugly cry”.  I didn’t want to scare my girl, after all.  But wow, it was hard to keep those emotions in check! When Sophie first started speech, her delay was so much worse than we actually thought it was. That was a really scary time for me, trying to figure out what she needed and how to get it.  But my mom told me, “The Lord made her and the Lord is going to take care of her.”, and she was right.  Every step of the way, we met the right people to help us get Sophie caught up.  When her first speech clinic closed, I was devastated – we loved her first SLP (hey Miss Tanya!), but that ultimately led us to Kristen, who had just ONE opening left, which we were able to get in right away (which is a miracle in our area where there is at least a three month wait for speech) and watching her with Sophie has been awesome. She HAS a real gift and IS a real gift to those she works with.

Sophie’s journey through developmental delays has been hard, but it is something I am truly thankful for. I am just so amazed by what she has done, I truly believe there is nothing she can’t do.

She’ll be done with occupational therapy in a couple of months and then maybe we’ll have a big party, or another good cry, or both – but whatever we do I will never be able to adequately express how PROUD I am of her!

I love you Sophie girl. Congratulations baby!

ready to dive in...

delight!

Then, Friday after Joshua got out of school, we picked Daddy up at work and headed slightly south to CoCo Key, an indoor waterpark in Cincinnati. We stayed the night so we got to play Friday night and Saturday. It was awesome! I will post a full review later, but we had a fantastic time. Sophie and Joshua were in HEAVEN!

The CoCo Key kids!

Finally, FINALLY, yesterday we had the main event – Sophie’s Hello Kitty birthday party. Usually we just do a family party, because we have a big family, but this year since it was the first birthday Sophie really was excited about, we went all-out. We had all her friends from church and a couple special other friends as well! It…was…HUGE!  And even though it was totally crazy and I almost had a panic attack during the chaos that ensued the busting of the ($20!!!) Hello Kitty pinata, Sophie had an awesome time!

Hello Kitty Cake by Cortney

The "Happy Birthday" song

Hello Kitty is mocking me, I think!

We had a wonderful few days celebrating our little girl. And I think she was feeling pretty special about it all. Happy Birthday, Sophie! But I gotta warn you, next year is probably gonna seem pretty lame.

Happy birthday, baby. I can’t believe you are FIVE.  When you were born, with all that almost-black hair and that perfect face, I could not imagine you as a five-year-old girl. And now, look at you:

You are sweeter and more beautiful that I ever could have dreamed you would be. My imagination just wasn’t capable of seeing and knowing all the many kinds of wonderful that you are.

Last year on your birthday, I made a wish for you.  I wished that you would share your awesomeness with others.  You were, at that point, not really spreading your greatness around so much.  And oh, girl, these past twelve months you have really made that wish come true!  You are SO social, so good at making friends, so sweet to others – I couldn’t be more proud.  I am so proud that you LOVE being YOU.  This year, I wish that you will always love yourself, that you will see yourself as God sees you – perfectly imperfect, and created exactly the way you are supposed to be.

Sweet girl.  You have  made me so proud this year.  You can read. You can write. Your speech is amazing.   You have gotten so strong in gymnastics! You make up the funniest songs, and just like me, you think life should be a musical and it is fun to sing what you are doing. I love singing with you about eating lunch or coloring a picture. I love being silly with you!

You are SUCH a good big sister. Last year on your birthday you were still the little sister, but now you are both!  I was so afraid you would be jealous of your baby brother, but you’ve been nothing but loving. I have loved seeing you be so sweet and motherly toward Jonah.  You are so good at taking care of him and at playing with him. I love how you talk to him and reassure him.  I love how you can’t wait to share the exciting things in your day with him.  I love how he lights up when he sees you!

You light up my world, baby girl.  Five seems like a big, big deal to me.  I’m a little sad because I always want you to be my baby girl.  I always want you to say to me, like you often do, that I’m your best friend.  But I promise I will be even when you think I’m not. No one could love you more than I do, Sophie.

Happy Birthday!

Princess Sophie

Be prepared to hear a lot in the next few days about Sophie’s 5th birthday (which is Wednesday, November 16th).  I’m sorry, people, but I need to emote.

This birthday is a really big deal for me, as Sophie’s mom.  Because you see, it’s the first one she’s ever cared about.  The receptive part of Sophie’s speech delay had kept her from really understanding exactly what a birthday was.  Last year was the first year she really got it, but she was pretty shy then, and didn’t like being the center 0f attention, or being at parties and large gatherings. So, last year, we didn’t even really have a party.  Just a small, family-only gathering at my mom’s house. She opened her presents away from the group, in the dining room with just Bobby and me and my mom.  She just really was not into people staring at her while she did so!  We didn’t do singing, no candles, just a very low-key celebration.  She liked her gifts, but they were all things I had picked out because she hadn’t really grasped the idea that you could ask for things for your birthday, even.

But, oh, how a year has changed things.

Now she is so excited about her birthday party, her friends, her Hello Kitty cake, her pinata, and oh, the presents.  The presents, the presents, the presents.  As I mentioned a few days ago, she has already made quite the list of things she wants for her birthday and Christmas.  She got twenty bucks in an early birthday card from my Grandma yesterday and immediately wanted to go to Target and spend it.  (Which we did, as I am the indulgent mother).  Up and down the aisles of Target we strolled, Sophie pointing joyously to everything she saw, saying, “I want this for my birthday! I want this for my birthday! I want that, too!”  It’s so fun for me to see her so excited about stuff.  I know it’s just stuff, and it’s not that I want to raise a material girl, but the fact that she’s caught up and is acting in such an age-appropriate way about her birthday has me giddy.

She wants it all.  And because she finally wants it all, and because honestly, the child has worked her butt off in therapy an at home for the last 13 months, I want to give it to her. So I *may* have gone a wee bit overboard this year.  But I’ll try not to make a habit of it.

Because what she doesn’t know, but I know, when I look at her, is that she already has it all.  She’s all caught up, she’s where she needs to be.  She is sweet, smart, beautiful, and loved. She has it all.

And Sophie my girl, so do I. So do I.

___________

Thanks, Shannon, for the photo

FIVE. Years old.

I can hardly believe it.  And, it totally freaks me out.  For a long time, I thought she would always be my baby. Not just because she’s my kid, but because I thought she’d be my last. So, Jonah changed all that, but I still feel very reluctant for Sophie to get so old. I’m having a hard time letting her get there.

Sophie’s developmental delays have necessitated that she and I spend a lot (and I mean A.LOT. ) of time one-on-one.  (And I don’t want to brag but a certain almost-five-year-old scored “advanced” on the school readiness test they gave her in September at preschool. WHAT UP!?) And so over the past 13 months or so we’ve grown super-tight.  No one can melt my heart quicker or make my blood boil faster than my Sophie can.  And I think if an almost-five-year old could express such sentiments, she’d say the same about me.  We bring out the best and the fiercest in each other.

She’s had a banner year and I am SO proud of her.  But I still want her to stay four for at least another six months!

FIVE? My heart can’t take it!

As I have mentioned before, Sophie looooves school. She loves being there, loves her friends, her teachers, and all their activities.  She was ALL excited to go back after summer break. She loves school so much that she was none too pleased when I kept her home Tuesday because she had a cold.

So imagine my surprise yesterday when I picked up my happy girl from school, before we had even made it halfway down the sidewalk, she said, “Mom, guess what?  I got a time out.”  I was shocked! First of all, I didn’t even know they gave time outs in her class, but I guess they have to do something when the kids misbehave.  And secondly, I couldn’t believe my little angel had been the misbehaver!

“Why did you get a time out?” I asked her.

“Because I pushed Ashley off the computer.”

My jaw dropped. Now I was really aghast.  ’You PUSHED ASHLEY??”

She then proceeded to confess the whole story.  They have a computer center in their class and Sophie got a little impatient when Ashley didn’t immediately vacate that center when her turn was up.  So she resorted to violence. What can I say, the girl loves her some computer!  All kidding aside though, I was pretty flummoxed.  That’s just not like Soph and she looooooves Ashley. Ashley and Julio were the first two friends she mentioned when she started this school last fall, and her affection for Ashley had not waned.

Fortunately, my little brute expressed the appropriate remorse, and we talked ad nauseum about how she should handle such situations in the future.  And then, I made her write an apology note:

I’m sure Ashley will cherish it for-ev-er. It’s like the preschool version of a yearbook signature. Today it’s “I’m sorry I pushed you”, tomorrow it’s “LYLAS, never change, have a great summer”.
Or, if I fail terribly at mothering, “Get your @$$ out of my chair before I CUT you!”