Such a Turn-Off

keepcalmturnofftv

I’ve always been a kind of “everything in moderation” Mom, so what I am about to say may shock you.

A couple of months ago, I stopped letting Jonah watch TV. Like, at all. For awhile previously I had him down to one show a day, and used that mostly as a reward for potty training. But soon I realized even that was too much. Even though he was only allowed to watch one a day, he obsessed over that one show, and he talked about it all day long. He has a really good memory, and he’d memorize parts of shows and walk around reciting those parts instead of talking and interacting with me and our family.

For a language-delayed kid, this is just not healthy.

So, we pulled the plug. We knew it would be hard, and it was, at first. But it wasn’t hard for very long. I was surprised at how soon he just stopped asking to watch. I was also surprised at how soon we saw an improvement in his language. Very, very soon we were able to see that we’d made the right decision. After a couple weeks, Jonah stopped talking about his shows and started talking about the world around him. Instead of re-living scenes from a Leap Frog adventure, he reminisces about our special “Mommy-Jonah” speech time we have together every day, or about what happened at school. And he observes and comments more on what’s happening around him as it’s happening.

It’s been kind of a bummer for the big kids never to be able to watch TV or play Wii upstairs in our living room, so we created a play area for them in the basement where they can do those things (on designated days). When Jonah’s older and past his delays, we’ll all be able to do those activities together again one day, and I hope then we can keep it moderated.

Because now, honestly? It’s really nice. Sure there are some days when I have a TON of work to do and I WISH I could just plop Jonah down in front of Netflix and buckle down, but the truth is, and I have SEEN this with my own eyes, that even doing that once in awhile is not ok for Jonah. Whatever work I have to do, or think I have to do, what’s best for him is vitally more important. And so I work around the inconvenience of not having a digital babysitter. I make it work. I stay up later, work in small spurts instead of one nice big chunk if I have to, and I hustle hustle hustle when he is at school. I make it work. We make it work as a family.

Bobby was more hesitant at first, he said to me, “I feel like we are taking away everything he likes.” (Because some other things that had a screen, even electronic kids books on kindle or an app, were also a problem). And he was right. But even he agrees that we immediately saw results – and now Jonah has NEW favorite things that are better for him.

I certainly don’t think screens are evil – like I said, my big kids still use them. But I don’t think they are good for kids with language delays, and I DO think they are probably used too much among kids under 5 today.

I wanted to share this with you because this is working for us. It was a hard decision to make, but I am SO glad we did. Jonah still watches a movie with us when we have family movie night, but other than that, he doesn’t watch TV at all. And it’s pretty great!

So, if this is a decision you’re mulling over in your house, I encourage you to commit to it and give it a try. It may not be what’s right for every kid, but it sure was the right thing for ours!

Have you ever done a no TV experiment? What were the results in your house?

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No need for fanfare

Girl loves her some Fancy Nancy books!

A couple of weeks ago Quaker asked me to tell you about an “at-last” accomplishment, something I’d worked on that was worth the time and effort, and I did.  And also gave away some cash from Quaker as well, in celebration of the fact that they FINALLY started making Quaker oatmeal cookies!  That first accomplishment I wrote about, working on our “Fun Room” in our house, was easy for me to think of and write about.  But when it came time to write a second post on the topic, I faltered.  Nothing monumental came to mind.  And then…it hit me.  We did have a major accomplishment in this house last month.

Something happened in February that I’d been waiting on for about 18 months. Waiting, anticipating, dreading, fearing, hoping, worrying…and then it snuck up on me, when it was time.  All of a sudden it was upon us and  it was easy, it was over, it was done – no big deal.   And yet a very huge deal.  When it happened I just wanted to kind of keep it to myself and cherish it for awhile.  I needed to sort it out and contemplate how I was feeling about it. But now I’m ready to  tell you.

Last month, I registered Sophie for kindergarten.

“Regular” kindergarten.  “Normal”  kindergarten.  “Mainstream” kindergarten.  Whatever you want to call it, the thing is, when we set out to help Sophie bulldoze her developmental delays, our main goal was to catch her up to her age group so that she could attend regular kindergarten.  And I am proud to say, that goal was accomplished!  Sophie will not be in “special ed” next year.  She has met her goals on her IEP and she’s done with therapy at school as well as privately.  She is now “typically developing”.  Little Miss Typical, I like to call her.  Although academically she is actually testing “advanced”. (Hey, I have to brag a LITTLE!)

I always  knew she could do it, in my heart I knew.  But when we first started this journey, the “what-ifs” were terrifying at times.

So this accomplishment, this meeting of our goals is a relief, and a quiet triumph – after all, kindergarten in general is a bittersweet thing!  But in it’s quietness, it’s HUGE, monumental, amazing, and joyful.  And I am so, so grateful for it.  When  August rolls around and Sophie heads off to kindergarten with her peers in her cute little uniform, I’m sure I’ll have some tears to shed.  But right now I am just grinning from ear to ear, enjoying the fruits of our work together, and enjoying my time with her before she marches off to full-day school.   My little girl.  I can’t wait to see what we accomplish together next!

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This post was sponsored by Quaker who asked me to tell you about something I accomplished that was worth all the time and hard work, like their “at-last” accomplishment – finally making delicious Oatmeal cookies after 14o years!  Stay tuned to the Quaker Cookies Facebook tab for yummy free sample offers coming soon!

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Mean Girls, Preschool Edition

As I have mentioned before, Sophie looooves school. She loves being there, loves her friends, her teachers, and all their activities.  She was ALL excited to go back after summer break. She loves school so much that she was none too pleased when I kept her home Tuesday because she had a cold.

So imagine my surprise yesterday when I picked up my happy girl from school, before we had even made it halfway down the sidewalk, she said, “Mom, guess what?  I got a time out.”  I was shocked! First of all, I didn’t even know they gave time outs in her class, but I guess they have to do something when the kids misbehave.  And secondly, I couldn’t believe my little angel had been the misbehaver!

“Why did you get a time out?” I asked her.

“Because I pushed Ashley off the computer.”

My jaw dropped. Now I was really aghast.  ‘You PUSHED ASHLEY??”

She then proceeded to confess the whole story.  They have a computer center in their class and Sophie got a little impatient when Ashley didn’t immediately vacate that center when her turn was up.  So she resorted to violence. What can I say, the girl loves her some computer!  All kidding aside though, I was pretty flummoxed.  That’s just not like Soph and she looooooves Ashley. Ashley and Julio were the first two friends she mentioned when she started this school last fall, and her affection for Ashley had not waned.

Fortunately, my little brute expressed the appropriate remorse, and we talked ad nauseum about how she should handle such situations in the future.  And then, I made her write an apology note:

I’m sure Ashley will cherish it for-ev-er. It’s like the preschool version of a yearbook signature. Today it’s “I’m sorry I pushed you”, tomorrow it’s “LYLAS, never change, have a great summer”.
Or, if I fail terribly at mothering, “Get your @$$ out of my chair before I CUT you!”

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