The Bathroom Stall-er

Two nights ago, I got Sammy all nice and packaged up in his jammies… both pairs, since it’s a little chilly in his room, and of course a onsie… and we sat down to snuggle in his rocker to read a book before bed. That is, until he interrupted our quiet time with this:

“I poop!”

“You have to poop?” I said, dreading the undressing and redressing and general delay of bedtime that this was about to cause. “I poop!” he happily replied.

So off we went… and sure enough, he was right.

Last night, the exact same thing happened – as soon as he figured out that we were headed for the rocker, and therefore he was headed to bed, he shouted “I poop!”

Again, we undressed. I sat him on the potty and I sat on the floor. We read books. We talked. We waited. An nothing happened. Eventually, I bundled him back up – onesie and jammies and jammies #2, and we headed back to his room.

As soon as we sat down in the rocker again, he started struggling. “Noooooo… I pooooop,” he said, although this time it was with more whining and less excitement.

This time, though, I wasn’t going to go through it again. He had a diaper on, the worst that could happen is that he’d go in it. And, you know, completely regress in his potty training. But late last night, it was a risk I was willing to take. Fortunately, he woke up this morning clean and dry, but this only means one thing.

He has figured out the perfect way to stall the bedtime procedures, the little bugger.

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Scratch That

Potty training is hell!

We tried to do Potty Boot Camp with Sophie this weekend, and it was miserable. It exhausted her as well as Bobby and me. At the end of the day, when I was holding her on the potty while running her bath which she needed because she had peed all over herself like 897 times and she was screaming both for a diaper and asking to be put “straight to bed” instead of having to sit on the potty, I finally thought, “Gee, maybe Sophie’s not ready.”

Here’s what I learned from Potty Boot Camp:

1) Sophie would prefer to use our office chair as a toilet, rather than an actual toilet.
2) Sophie will hold her pee until you leave the room to make her lunch or get her a clean shirt or ironically, check to see that her brother wiped himself correctly after taking a poop.
3) Sophie does not care whether she wears training pants, big girl undies, or a diaper, so long as she can pee in them and not on the toilet.
4) Sophie will not answer questions that contain the word “potty”, “pee-pee”, “poop”, “wet”, or “dry”.
5) Sophie will take a four-hour nap if it means she can get a break from potty training.
6) I would rather give a raccoon a pedicure than potty train my kid.

It was that fun!

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That’s Not Peanut Butter

Yesterday Sophie and I were having a great afternoon, which involved me breaking my high score at Wii bowling (208 baby!!) and her sitting at the dining room table watching me bowl while eating a nutritious lunch of grapes and chicken nuggets. What could be better?

I was getting my bowling groove on when all of a sudden Sophie began to fuss. “Need help! Need HELP!” she cried frantically. I turned to look at her and she had her hand extended toward me, covered in peanut butter. Neither of my kids like it when their hands get messy while they’re eating so I am used to having to wipe her hands before she can finish her meal. But as I walked toward her to grab a napkin, I realized: She’s not eating peanut butter. That can’t be peanut butter.

I took hold of her wrist and got a whiff and panicked. THAT’S NOT PEANUT BUTTER!

It was poop.

She had a chicken nugget in one hand, and a bunch of poop in the other.

I immediately did what I could with a napkin, then began jumping around screaming “NO touch! No touch!” while frantically trying to locate the wipes and wrestle the Wii controller that was strapped to me off of my arm. (I am very good in a panic situation. {Sarcasm sign!})

I found the wipes, got her hand cleaned up, washed it in soap and scalding water (just kidding, it was just really warm), managed not to VOMIT, and then went about changing her diaper. I quickly discovered that she’d had a bit of a blowout, and feeling poop on her lower back, had reached back to find out what the heck was going on back there. And found out. Eeeeeww.

I made it almost six years as a mother without having a kid stick his or her hand in their own poo, I guess that is pretty good. But YUCK. It was disgusting.

And it is time for Camp Potty to begin TODAY!

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