A couple of weeks ago when we were on our way to Fort Rapids to meet Emily’s family, we made a stop at Rite Aid because I needed a specific item for our trip – Krazy Glue.  Because everyone needs a little Krazy Glue on a family trip to a water park, right?  Just glue the kids’ hands to yours and they won’t get lost!  Umm…ok, maybe not.

The real reason I bought the Krazy Glue is because thanks to the Infected Hangnail of Death, my thumbnail was partially coming off.  But *most* of it was still attached and my doctor was hoping that was coming off would reattach itself to the newly-growing nail bed.

In short, I had some jacked up stuff going on and had my thumbnail taped down/covered with a band-aid at all times.  But I was pretty sure a waterpark wasn’t going to be the most band-aid-adhesive friendly place, and I didn’t want my thumbnail flapping all over the place…so…Krazy Glue.

Anycrap, when we got there I told Emily about the Krazy Glue and complained about how weird stuff always happens to me and as usual she mocked me.  I mean, I am not the most graceful girl around.  Before I got my van, I was constantly hitting my head in the doorway of my car when buckling the kids in their car seats.  I bump into door frames a lot.  After having my babies, my arches fell, my thumb and arm got messed up, I had nerve damage in my feet, knees, and hands – the past few months I’ve been like a freaking jalopy.  I’ve been known to describe myself as “Functionally retarded” (which I recently found out was a real thing – so, no disrespect to the disabled, I’m just making fun of myself here!)

After our day of water park fun, Emily and I and The SuperHusbands were sitting around playing a board game.  It was brand new and I was opening the different parts of it, including a plastic bag of little pencils.  I had  little trouble opening said bag, and the brute force I had to use resulted in me STABBING myself in the finger with one of the pencils (bonus points for all pencils STILL being in the plastic when said stabbing occurred!) and embedding a little lead in one finger.

Great, now I am going to die of lead poisoning.

As you can imagine, copious making-fun-of-Jenny soon followed.  I believe I made some remark about how Bobby should trade me in for a more functional model, which he followed up by shaking his head and saying, “Aww, honey, you’re like that cute scruffy dog from the pound that gets adopted because it’s kinda messed up and people feel sorry for it.”

To which Emily chimed in, “Yeah, you’re like the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree!”

So there ya have it.

Shaggy mutt or anorexic evergreen, which is better?  Discuss!

And can I have my own Christmas special?

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Jenny.  Well, actually, there was a nerdy 7th grader named Jenny.  Who was obsessed with the royal families of Europe.  For a couple of years.  Give or take a few. Who may or may not have wanted to scratch Camilla’s eyes out when all that shizzle hit the fizzan.

And who may have gotten up at 4 a.m.on my 20th birthday to watch Princess Diana’s funeral.  Even though she had a bunch of college girlfriends sleeping over.

*Ahem*

But now, I’ve morphed into a super-busy, half-crazy, live-in-a-bubble mom.   I see very little news, I never watch real tv, just TiVo or Netflix.  Truth be told, I get most of my news from Facebook.  {the shame!}

So it barely even registered when Prince William and Kate Middleton announced their engagement a few months ago. And it really crept up on me this week that the wedding, is, well in a few hours.  Probably good and over by the time you read this!  So tonight I’ve been trying to “catch up” really quickly on all the news and plans and schedules (because if the baby wakes me up at 4:30 a.m., I might get up and watch.  But if not, then NO. That is what the aforementioned TiVo is for.)  And what I’ve found has bloooown  my MIND.

The British Royal Family has gone all Social Media on us. They’re like, “with it” and stuff.

There is an official Royal Wedding 2011 website.  And an official British Monarchy Royal Wedding “Share Your Stories” Facebook App.  And a Flickr stream. And a You Tube Channel where you can watch live, or better yet upload your own video message to the happy couple.  And of course, there’s a Royal Wedding twitter.  With hashtag #royalwedding.

Well, on this Royal Wedding eve, I must say, thanks to the savvy British Monarchy for helping me catch up on all the wedding details via social media.  I am very impressed!  For an institution steeped in tradition, you’re working this whole wedding thing pretty hard in a pretty modern way. {Insert British congratulatory phrase here.}  Well done!   And now, I may just get up at 4:30 whether the baby wakes me up or not!

Yesterday my life as I know it changed for the better. And for the convenient. And I am absolutely giddy with excitement in a totally geeky way that I am now a minivan mom! I suppose these are words that I never thought I’d say, but ever since this shoving-three-kids-in-the-back-of-my-sedan thing started (and immediately got OLD), I have been lusting after a minivan.

Since we are Toyota people, Bobby and I really wanted a Toyota Sienna.  We also wanted to pay cash, which meant USED.   And, we wanted leather seats (because, really, Joshua has thrown up in my car about 8,000 times and if it didn’t have leather, I’d have to wear a HAZMAT suit just to DRIVE it) and at lease ONE power door.  (Whoever invented the power door is a geeeeeeeeenius and should be given the highest honor the country of his or her birth bestows upon civilians.  Anyhoo.)  Also, we were hoping for a 2004 or newer because that’s when they last changed the Sienna significantly.  SO -we were being very picky!  We really began searching about a month ago and we called on a couple but they were always sold – these babies go fast!

Then, Tuesday, I saw one that was slightly out of our price range but not too far out.  And it was nearby, and had everything we wanted.  So Bobby said, “Let’s go look at it!”  We pulled into the JANKIEST car lot I have ever seen.  The first letter was missing from the company sign, it was about the size of a gas station and the lot was packed FULL of cars!  Nevertheless, it has the perfect Sienna.  It was pretty dirty on the inside but the outside looked great.  Since Bobby is a mechanic, he wanted to take it into work to look at it thoroughly, and the car salesman said that was ok.  After looking it over the next day, Bobby thought it was a no-brainer.  So we made them an offer, they took it, and yesterday, we brought this baby home!

We are calling her Yoshi.  A good Japanese name for a good Japanese car!  It’s a 2004, with leather, two power doors, and pretty much every option you could get back then. It’s like, the finest in minivan luxury from 7 years ago!! SCORE! Bobby took it to work today to get it detailed (it really was dirty on the inside – the previous owners left all kinds of stuff in it including several hair bands, some earrings, and an Nintendo DS game!) and tomorrow I will get to click open that power door and put my three kids in it without wanting to shoot myself and go for a spin!! I can’t wait and I’m so thankful to have this new-to-us-car!

Yippee! Minivans rule!