I am fairly sure parts of this post may be sacreligious, and for that, I am truly sorry.

But people, I am NOT in my right mind here.

Because I’ve been exercising. Not just my Pilates, but Wii Fit also.  And I’ve been eating better AND only having ONE can of pop a day. ONE!

It’s not that fun.  But, I have lost about three pounds.  So I will soldier on.

As much as one can soldier on while curled up in the fetal position crying for the want of a Cadbury Creme Egg and a Mountain Dew.

Because I want. It’s Easter season and my new “healthy lifestyle” has made my focus veer away from the spiritual and toward the sugarful.

I dream of floating in a Mountain Dew ocean surrounded by little Cadbury Creme eggs bobbing around me…

I need help. HELP!

And some oval-shaped milk chocolate filled with liquified sugar made to look like egg yolk.

STAT!

(You know what’s really sad? This isn’t even the first post I’ve written about Cadbury Creme eggs!  This is.  And the Dew posts are countless, I’m sure.)

Easter Bunny, can ya feel me?  Hop on over!

It’s a good thing it’s a well-established fact that I’m narcissistic, or else I might have to write a really long background to this post.

But, you all already know I’m into me. So.

Monday I started Operation HoboNot, which is my campaign to lose this last 15 lbs of baby weight (I gained 43).  So, I started exercising.  Which I hate.  Also a well-established fact.

I started doing Pilates, which is about the only form of exercise I can tolerate and stick with.  And let me just tell you, my core is hatin’ life right now. OWWW!  Tomorrow I am gonna take a day off the ol’ (non-existent, stretched out) abs and do an upper body Pilates workout.  Also, I would suggest if you have hardwood floors and haven’t done Pilates in ohh saaaaaaaaaay roundabout two years, you should use TWO Pilates mats instead of one.  Ow my back!

I’ve been *trying* to cut down on pop.  Well-documented fact # 3: I looooves me some sugar.  Especially when it is carbonated and ice cold.  So I’m trying to limit myself to one a day.  I’ll admit I’m not always successful.  When I’m really stressed, I go for a Mountain Dew or a Coke!  But, since I cut down on the pop 3 weeks ago, I lost 6 lbs.  It really DOES make a difference.  I don’t eat that badly but I *drink* a lot of calories!

Why can’t I live in a world where I can drink three Mountain Dews a day and sit on my butt and maintain a movie-star physique?

Blargh.

I’m trying to get back to me, but I have to do a lot of totally not-me things to get there.  Oh, the irony!  Will it be worth it?? Only time will tell.  Let the games begin!

Tuesday night Andrea, Emily, Cortney, Katie, another Andrea, Tricia, Marianne and some very other cool local bloggers were at Books & Co. for the book signing of our super-cool famous friend Erin Chase and as Erin was greeting all her enthusiastic fans, we sat around and chatted. The topic quickly turned to how fabulous Emily looks after having reached her weight-loss goal with Weight Watchers. Then it turned to what everyone was trying to do to get in shape. Cortney’s working out, Andrea is a runner, Marianne’s a runner…and I…am not. My contribution to the conversation was:

“I’m so out of shape. But, it’s kinda my thing!”

Oh, ha ha ha, Jenny’s so funny…but it’s TRUE! I literally break out in hives when people start talking about running 5ks and half-marathons and crazy crap like that. Eeek!

Then last night on twitter I started seeing stuff like this:

*breaks out in cold sweat*

Eventually it was tweeted as a suggestion that I join this effort, to which I replied, that such would happen when HELL FREEZES OVER.

Then my “friends” thought they would be funny! Andrea tweeted this and it was re-tweeted many times:

Oh, so, funny, really I am dying laughing. {sarcasm sign}. You girls may know the way to my heart, but you do NOT know the way off my a$$.

Besides, as I think I have proven many times, I can get my own bags of Mary Kay, Lands’ End clothes, and cute boots!

But you know, have a great time doing that 5K! I’ll be cheering you on from the comfort of my cozy Lands’ End sweaters and Sorel boots!