It’s fairly depressing because I hate exercise and I love sugar.  But it all started with me trying to mend my gallbladder problems and drop a few pounds before I head to Mom 2.0.  I had a few extra ell-bee’s on me from general laziness and overindulgence in Cadbury Creme Eggs…mmm.

And, it’s working. I’ve been back on the Pilates train for five weeks and I’ve only not worked out five days in five weeks.  All my lovely Lands’ End clothes for Mom 2.0 fit great.  I will NOT be needing shapewear for once. And…I like it.  I find myself wanting to work out.  Who AM I?

The problem is, I want to work out, but I still want to eat Cadbury Creme Eggs (I may have a few I purchased on clearance after Easter hoarded in a special hiding place.  Maybe.) and drink Mountain Dew!  I HAVE been eating healthier, but I don’t WANT TO.  I am never going to just pine for a salad, people.

Five weeks is a long time for me.  This is a big streak!  There is a small voice inside me that wonders how long I can keep it up.  I want to keep it up because I love the way I feel.  But I also miss being me, normal me, carefree me, who would say in the wise words of Erin Brockovich, “As long as I have one @$$ instead of two” I’ll eat whatever I want.

Sigh. I guess we’ll see how I do after Miami!  Those extra calories I’ve been burning while breastfeeding have definitely been helping me in my endeavors to slim down.  But if Jonah quits nursing while I’m away (which I kind of want him to, because really, I am his drinking fountain at this point), I won’t have THAT in my back pocket anymore…which means even more exercising and even less sugary soda!  *Sigh*.

I SERIOUSLY wanna have my cake and eat it too!!  Waah.

You see, I was on my way to losing ye olde baby weight (which I think should be a proper noun, because it’s practically an extra person, right?  So it shall be called BabyWeight.), but then I went to my mom & dad’s in Virginia for Easter, and I just stopped.  I stopped eating right, and I stopped exercising and I couldn’t quite get back to it when I got home.

So I’ve gained back 2 lbs.  Which isn’t that bad, considering the way I’ve been doing the Dew and not doing the Wii Fit, but I am discouraged.  Mad at myself, but I still don’t want to get back on that Pilates mat.  Because I HATE EXERCISE!!!!

But alas, it’s finally stopped raining and it’s warming up and I have NO capri pants that fit and I’m going to die of heat stroke if I don’t get BabyWeight the heck off of me!

So, for real, I have an Usborne Books party tonight I have to clean house for but tomorrow, TOMORROW for sure it’s time to kick BabyWeight’s fat butt.

And hope I don’t die trying!

That’s right, it’s the Tree pose in Yoga.

And apparently, it’s a little tiring after awhile!

(Not that I would know personally.)

Joshua has also gotten on the Yoga train!  He is actually doing it as I type this. Crazy kids! Next they’ll both be wearing caftans and going by Native American names.

We’ve been having lots of fun Wii Fitting each night as a family – I am quite fab at the Hula Hoop, Bobby excels at the Obstacle Course, Sophie rocks the Tilt City, and Joshua loves Ski Jumping.

What are your favorite games on Wii Fit?

And don’t say Yoga!

I am fairly sure parts of this post may be sacreligious, and for that, I am truly sorry.

But people, I am NOT in my right mind here.

Because I’ve been exercising. Not just my Pilates, but Wii Fit also.  And I’ve been eating better AND only having ONE can of pop a day. ONE!

It’s not that fun.  But, I have lost about three pounds.  So I will soldier on.

As much as one can soldier on while curled up in the fetal position crying for the want of a Cadbury Creme Egg and a Mountain Dew.

Because I want. It’s Easter season and my new “healthy lifestyle” has made my focus veer away from the spiritual and toward the sugarful.

I dream of floating in a Mountain Dew ocean surrounded by little Cadbury Creme eggs bobbing around me…

I need help. HELP!

And some oval-shaped milk chocolate filled with liquified sugar made to look like egg yolk.

STAT!

(You know what’s really sad? This isn’t even the first post I’ve written about Cadbury Creme eggs!  This is.  And the Dew posts are countless, I’m sure.)

Easter Bunny, can ya feel me?  Hop on over!

But, you all already know I’m into me. So.

Monday I started Operation HoboNot, which is my campaign to lose this last 15 lbs of baby weight (I gained 43).  So, I started exercising.  Which I hate.  Also a well-established fact.

I started doing Pilates, which is about the only form of exercise I can tolerate and stick with.  And let me just tell you, my core is hatin’ life right now. OWWW!  Tomorrow I am gonna take a day off the ol’ (non-existent, stretched out) abs and do an upper body Pilates workout.  Also, I would suggest if you have hardwood floors and haven’t done Pilates in ohh saaaaaaaaaay roundabout two years, you should use TWO Pilates mats instead of one.  Ow my back!

I’ve been *trying* to cut down on pop.  Well-documented fact # 3: I looooves me some sugar.  Especially when it is carbonated and ice cold.  So I’m trying to limit myself to one a day.  I’ll admit I’m not always successful.  When I’m really stressed, I go for a Mountain Dew or a Coke!  But, since I cut down on the pop 3 weeks ago, I lost 6 lbs.  It really DOES make a difference.  I don’t eat that badly but I *drink* a lot of calories!

Why can’t I live in a world where I can drink three Mountain Dews a day and sit on my butt and maintain a movie-star physique?

Blargh.

I’m trying to get back to me, but I have to do a lot of totally not-me things to get there.  Oh, the irony!  Will it be worth it?? Only time will tell.  Let the games begin!

“I’m so out of shape. But, it’s kinda my thing!”

Oh, ha ha ha, Jenny’s so funny…but it’s TRUE! I literally break out in hives when people start talking about running 5ks and half-marathons and crazy crap like that. Eeek!

Then last night on twitter I started seeing stuff like this:

*breaks out in cold sweat*

Eventually it was tweeted as a suggestion that I join this effort, to which I replied, that such would happen when HELL FREEZES OVER.

Then my “friends” thought they would be funny! Andrea tweeted this and it was re-tweeted many times:

Oh, so, funny, really I am dying laughing. {sarcasm sign}. You girls may know the way to my heart, but you do NOT know the way off my a$$.

Besides, as I think I have proven many times, I can get my own bags of Mary Kay, Lands’ End clothes, and cute boots!

But you know, have a great time doing that 5K! I’ll be cheering you on from the comfort of my cozy Lands’ End sweaters and Sorel boots!