There’s something I’ve been keeping from you for the last month.  Maybe because of fear of failure, I don’t know.  Or maybe because I just didn’t want to admit it.  But the truth is, for almost five weeks now, I’ve been…excercising.  And eating better. And not hardly drinking any Mountain Dew (or pop at all).  (I still have a couple a week but I don’t keep it in the house. If I want pop, I have to go out and buy it.)

It’s fairly depressing because I hate exercise and I love sugar.  But it all started with me trying to mend my gallbladder problems and drop a few pounds before I head to Mom 2.0.  I had a few extra ell-bee’s on me from general laziness and overindulgence in Cadbury Creme Eggs…mmm.

And, it’s working. I’ve been back on the Pilates train for five weeks and I’ve only not worked out five days in five weeks.  All my lovely Lands’ End clothes for Mom 2.0 fit great.  I will NOT be needing shapewear for once. And…I like it.  I find myself wanting to work out.  Who AM I?

The problem is, I want to work out, but I still want to eat Cadbury Creme Eggs (I may have a few I purchased on clearance after Easter hoarded in a special hiding place.  Maybe.) and drink Mountain Dew!  I HAVE been eating healthier, but I don’t WANT TO.  I am never going to just pine for a salad, people.

Five weeks is a long time for me.  This is a big streak!  There is a small voice inside me that wonders how long I can keep it up.  I want to keep it up because I love the way I feel.  But I also miss being me, normal me, carefree me, who would say in the wise words of Erin Brockovich, “As long as I have one @$$ instead of two” I’ll eat whatever I want.

Sigh. I guess we’ll see how I do after Miami!  Those extra calories I’ve been burning while breastfeeding have definitely been helping me in my endeavors to slim down.  But if Jonah quits nursing while I’m away (which I kind of want him to, because really, I am his drinking fountain at this point), I won’t have THAT in my back pocket anymore…which means even more exercising and even less sugary soda!  *Sigh*.

I SERIOUSLY wanna have my cake and eat it too!!  Waah.

Except I’m not. I was, but now I’m not.

You see, I was on my way to losing ye olde baby weight (which I think should be a proper noun, because it’s practically an extra person, right?  So it shall be called BabyWeight.), but then I went to my mom & dad’s in Virginia for Easter, and I just stopped.  I stopped eating right, and I stopped exercising and I couldn’t quite get back to it when I got home.

So I’ve gained back 2 lbs.  Which isn’t that bad, considering the way I’ve been doing the Dew and not doing the Wii Fit, but I am discouraged.  Mad at myself, but I still don’t want to get back on that Pilates mat.  Because I HATE EXERCISE!!!!

But alas, it’s finally stopped raining and it’s warming up and I have NO capri pants that fit and I’m going to die of heat stroke if I don’t get BabyWeight the heck off of me!

So, for real, I have an Usborne Books party tonight I have to clean house for but tomorrow, TOMORROW for sure it’s time to kick BabyWeight’s fat butt.

And hope I don’t die trying!