She was totally right.

However, against my better judgment, we did it anyway.

A few weeks ago, we brought a dog home from a shelter. Have you ever tried adopting a dog from a shelter? I am fairly certain we could have brought a kid home from Rwanda with less scrutiny. Anyway, after we convinced them we weren’t Michael Vick wannabes, we brought home a dog whose name (at the time) was Yonkers. He had been adopted from the shelter as a puppy and was in a home for five years, but his owners got smart had kids and couldn’t care for him anymore, so he wound up back at the shelter. So anyway, this was the only dog we had come across that we all felt remotely comfortable with (and by “remotely,” I mean not 100% opposed. And by “we,” I mean me.), in no small part because he was not a puppy. I am not a complete idiot – I drew the line at bringing anything into our house that wasn’t sleeping through the night and potty-trained. Because really – that ship has sailed.

So.

The shelter’s policy is that interested parties bring a dog home for a week-long “home visit” before making the adoption final. (See also: Rwandan child.) I held out the slightest bit of hope that a week would be long enough for all of us to realize that we didn’t need a dog.

I was wrong.

I realized it. The rest of my family, not so much.

But let me back up. The night Andy brought him home from the shelter, it was a Friday and the kids and I were in my bed watching television. Andy and the dog got home, and the dog’s first course of action was to tear through the house and jump up on our bed. I was not amused. Then he proceeded to bark the entire night. Kate, the girl who flips out when she can hear crickets chirping when she’s trying to sleep, was hysterical. She wanted the dog to be gone, and I quote – “Mommy was right. We aren’t ready for a dog.” I was gleefully chanting “I told you so!” in my head and picturing returning the purchase the next day.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last – the next morning she was in love with the damn thing.

I, however, was not.

Since Andy and the dog had gotten home late the night before, Andy had put the dog’s crate (which was gianormous, btw) in the kitchen. I came out to make the kids breakfast and the kitchen table had been moved to the side to make room for the crate, there were dog treats on the counter and leashes and toys strewn across the floor. I felt like the dog had taken over our entire home. Our house suddenly felt three times smaller, and the dog suddenly seemed three times bigger than I remembered. Later, Andy found me in the shower, sobbing. I just felt like our lives had been turned upside down – and I had liked our lives quite well just as they were.

Mid-morning, I took Kate to a birthday party for like 7 hours. It was so long I wanted to shoot myself. But being there felt like a better alternative than being at home with the dog – I was utterly convinced I would never want to be at our house again, especially alone. That thought was devastating to me.

After the party, I took Kate to the mall to kill some more time. When we did eventually get home, I discovered that Andy had spent the whole time getting our house back to normal. He moved the crate and all the paraphernalia to the basement and cleaned the entire house. It felt like home again and it was such a relief to me. He is a nice guy.

So anyway, after the initial shock wore off, things got better… but the conclusion I came to was that I just didn’t like having a dog in our house. It wasn’t about that dog in particular – all and all he’s a pretty good dog, and Andy and Kate had absolutely kept up their end of the bargain in terms of caring for him. It just felt like an intrusion.

To me, anyway. Everyone else – including Sam, who had been completely afraid of dogs a week before – loved having him around.

So, our week came to a close and we had to make a decision. It was not easy. I agonized over it, but after a long conversation with my dad, I decided that I would take one for the team.

We are now dog owners.

While I am still not overjoyed about this change in our life, I am trying to come around. I have decided that at this point, it’s in no one’s best interest for me to be angry and resentful. The dog is here to stay, and I need to make the best out of it. That’s what’s best for all of us.

So, readers, meet Siggy.

On the bright side, at least I’ll have something to blog about.

Anyway, she is beautiful.

Here we are on my wedding day.  We both look a lot different now.

(But still totally hawt, right?)

I’ve said before on this blog that my mom is the best mom ever.  And it’s true.  Really, if I can be half as good, my kids will be so lucky.  I hope I can be.  (Alas, my father is fond of telling me, “Girl, you got every bad trait I have.”  Ha!)

But my mom isn’t just a good mom.  She’s an amazing PERSON.  My mom is the true definition of a person who is beautiful inside and out.  She has shown me time and again what it means to be a servant.  She served little children as a Sunday school teacher, kindergarten and preschool teacher for years.  Now that is something that takes a loving, beautiful heart!  She still serves her children even though we are all grown up, helping us take care of our own kids when we need it, even doing driving duty when our kids have more places to be at than we can be in at one time.  She volunteers doing funeral dinners at church, making sure a bereaved family will not have to worry about feeding a crown of mourners.  She serves, and that is beautiful.

My mother is beautiful inside and out, and she has shown me beauty by example.  I hope I can do the same for my daughter.

In honor of Mother’s Day, Olay has started a “Beauty by Example” Facebook page.  If you go like their page, click on “Beauty By Example” and sign the declaration that your mom shows you Beauty by Example, P&G P&G will donate one ounce of Olay product (up to one million ounces) to look good feel better – a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the self-esteem and quality of life of women undergoing treatment for cancer.

And to keep your outside looking beautiful (because I know your hearts are gorgeous!), we’re giving away an awesome prize pack of P&G Beauty products, too so you can pamper yourself!  Just leave a comment on this post telling us how your mom has shown you beauty by example.  The winner will be chosen at 6pm on Wednesday, May 9th.  Good luck!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!  Thanks for showing me what beauty really is!

I keep seeing something around the blogosphere, links on Facebook and twitter, etc. that is really disturbing to me.  And no, it’s not politics, or child soldiers, or anything of any actual consequence that has me riled up.

It is the over-targeting, from a marketing standpoint, of women who have children.  It’s the heavy, ridiculous, almost comical marketing to “MOMS”.  Sure, there are many products and services (such as diapers!) that only a mom would have a need for.  But there are also many things that should be marketed to women in general that are now pointedly being marketed with ” a twist” FOR MOMS.

Because apparently, once you give birth to or adopt a child, you are no longer just a woman.  And you need to be told SPECIFICALLY what to wear, and how to wear it.  You need to be told what meals to make your family, and how to make them.  And you need to only read blog posts and articles that have the word “mom” in the title.

Let me urge you to no longer read blog posts with the word “mom” in the title unless it is a post or article about parenting.

I am tired of reading about fashion FOR MOMS, cooking FOR MOMS, products FOR MOMS.

I’m a woman.  If I read an article about how to wear the latest fashion trend, I am going to be reading about WOMEN’S FASHION, not MOM FASHION.

I recently saw a post titled something to the effect of “How to wear skinny jeans if you’re a mom”  - that is not the exact title because I don’t want to be a total jerkwad, after all this rant is completely impersonal – there are dozens if not more bloggers and writers using the word “mom” to get search engine traffic (plenty of whom I think are super-great people).  I was immediately incensed when I read the title. Because really, if you’re a mom, why would you wear skinny jeans any differently from any other woman?  If that’s the case, shouldn’t women who delivered vaginally wear their jeans differently from c-section moms? OH MY GOSH WHAT IF YOU’VE HAD BOTH TYPES OF DELIVERIES??? Then HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WEAR YOUR SKINNY JEANS?  Oh! Or what if you’re a mom by ADOPTION!!??  Or a STEPMOM?  Ohmagah I am hyperventilating just thinking about the crisis I would have over skinny jeans if I were a MOM OF MULTIPLES!  Or a mom with biological, adopted, AND stepkids.  That type of mom probably shouldn’t even wear clothes at all.  Too difficult!

{Are you picking up my sarcasm?  I hope so because I am laying it on pretttttty thickly.}

It’s not mom fashion, it’s fashion.  And females who have children should not have separate rules for wearing clothing.  There should be fashion difference for women of different ages, perhaps, but not rules, articles, tips, or tricks based on being a mom. The reason these articles and post exists is because the word “mom” brings in good search engine traffic.  That is the bottom line.

To give you another example of this ridiculousness, I saw another post the other day, the title of which began with “Mom Fashion:” – then the rest of the title was about the appropriateness of teen clothing for prom or something like that.  You see, the article was not about mom fashion at all.  It was about whether you should let your daughters wear slutty clothes to the school dance.  Sure, moms were the article’s intended audience, but the title was written just for search engine optimization (SEO), not to, you know, MAKE ACTUAL SENSE.

So if you see those posts, don’t click on them.  Go to a fashion website instead.

Because you are a woman.  Even if you have a child.  You are a woman.

Don’t you guys love it when I get pissed off??

Let me say in closing, that I realize this is what some feel they have to do to be successful in business, if their business is a blog or website. Perhaps this is just a game you have to play these days.  But I am 100% uninterested in participating in it as blogger or a reader of blogs. (Or a WOMAN).

As much as it pains me to say this, however, I know my opinion is not the only valid one on the subject? Anyone care to add theirs?  Just please be nice and respectful in your comments.

A couple weeks ago, I read “The Journey,” written by Tammy at Notes from the Homefront. In it, she chronicles her recent trip to the car dealership to trade in her minivan, and she reflects on the transition in her life the change in her vehicle represents. (Click over and read the post, she explains it much more eloquently than I can.)

The post really resonated with me. What stuck with me most was the ending – her excitement about what the future holds made me feel optimistic about my future as well.

Then on Sunday I went for a long walk down a quiet country road, all by myself, trying to become reacquainted with my own thoughts (and perhaps burn a few calories. Whichever came first.). I dreamed up lots of good ideas (just ask Jenny – I was texting them to her as they occurred to me) and one of them was that Andy and I should buy a new car. We’d had our two Toyotas for eight and 10 years respectively, and while neither had any huge mechanical issues, they both had upwards of 170,000 miles on them. Our Camry, in particular, was old and noisy and beat up. However, we didn’t have a reason to replace either of them.

It was about the time I was texting my dad wondering how I could arrange for our car to get hit by a school bus that I started to think – what are we waiting for? Our Camry was 10 years old. If we buy a new car today and drive it for 10 more years, I thought to myself, Kate will be sixteen.

As if that thought wasn’t traumatic enough in and of itself, I then realized that Kate was in fact no longer six and that in 10 years she would actually be 18.

I thought back to Tammy’s post and decided there was no time like the present to become a minivan mom.

So we went out and bought this.

One hundred percent necessary? Of course not. One hundred percent worth it? Absolutely.

Because here’s the thing. This time in our lives, this Minivan Moment – it won’t last very long. We need to embrace it, we need to live it.

And then we need to look forward to what comes next.

Have you seen it? It’s basically American Idol meets Survivor meets, um, cupcakes. They start out with four contestants and a theme (some of my favorite episode themes include Girl Scout Cookies, I Love Lucy, and Monster Truck Jam). The first round is all about taste, and it’s when the bakers whip up something like this:

Red Hot Velvet Cupcakes With Fiery Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting
Luscious red velvet meets hot cayenne pepper in a combination of sweet and spicy that is just right. Topped with a cinnamon schnapps-infused frosting, these cupcakes are sinfully decadent.

They put the most random things in cupcakes – jalapenos, pesto, goat cheese. And booze, lots of booze. (See why I like this show? Alcohol-infused sugar. Sign me up.)

Then, the panel of judges gets to shatter the hopes and dreams of one contestant and vote them off the island.

In the second round they make three different cupcakes, judged on both taste and presentation. Then judges give a rose to the final two contestants, who have to make a display of 1,000 cupcakes.

They pick a winner, and everyone lives happily ever after.

It is awesome.

Over the weekend, Kate and Sam were inspired by what they’d seen on TV, so they got out our Williams-Sonoma kids’ cookbooks and picked a couple recipes to try. We whipped up a chocolate chip cookie cake and some chocolate mousse, all the while running around the kitchen like chicken with our heads cut off, yelling things like “Oh my gosh, we only have five minutes and I haven’t even started the fondant motorcycle helmets” and “This ganache isn’t right, I’m going to have to start over” and “I dropped the strawberry compote!!!”

It was fabulous.

And much less traumatizing than when Jenny and Sophie play Toddlers and Tiaras.

What shows do you like to watch with your kids?

His name is Sam and it’s a good thing he’s cute.

We didn’t go through this with Kate, so this is new territory for me. (Not completely new, actually – I now realize why my parents had a king-sized bed. Sorry about that, Dad.) Anyway, I don’t know what to do about this visitor.

I have really mixed thoughts and emotions about it, because part of me wants to let him crawl in bed with us whenever he needs comfort.

The other part of me just wants to get some damn sleep already.

Sometimes we let him in bed with us and take him back to his room when he falls asleep (rinse and repeat three or four times each night), sometimes we let him in bed with us and we all manage to stay asleep the rest of the night. Sometimes we send him straight back to his room. Sometimes we put him on the chaise lounge in our room and let him sleep there.

None of these feel like the right thing to do, though, but I’m not sure how to handle this.

Help me out, please! Have you had late-night visitors as well? If so, how did you handle it?

Sophie making cool shapes with laser light on the "Ring of Fire"

The Math Midway is set up like a carnival midway, with lots of cool booths where you can do fun math games.  Like using math to distort a photo of yourself in the Fun House:

Joshua's face on math!

This was the kids’ absolute favorite activity – using a wavelength to design your own roller coaster, then test it out and time it. Super fun! They did it over and over.

Building a rollercoaster like their heroes Phineas & Ferb

I liked this exhibit because there really were activities for kids of all ages.  Even the youngest kiddos could romp around on this mat while the older kids built a giant puzzle:

Little kids could also great all kinds of fun shape and puzzle creations on this giant magnetic board:

This is really just a snippet of the many fun activities at the Math Midway. We had a great time, learned a lot, and highly encourage anyone in the Dayton area to take their kids for a stroll through all these great math games and activities at the Boonshoft.  I know we’ll be going back to see Math Midway again before it leaves town April 29th.

_____________________

I am being compensated for this post.  All opinions about the exhibit are my own.

Last April was insane.

It started with Sam’s birthday, which we spent in St. Louis.

The next weekend, we drove back to St. Louis for Andy’s grandfather’s funeral (and a quick trip to the pediatric emergency room thrown in for fun). Then I had the bright idea to drive myself insane try to make Lightsabers out of pretzels for Sam’s class.

The finished product!

Then we had a joint birthday party for both kids with our entire families, which was quickly followed by Kate’s birthday celebration at school, her actual birthday, and her skating party.

It was nuts and I about drove myself insane. (Shocker, right?)

But this April, I am determined to keep things simple. Determined.

So here’s my plan.

Sam’s birthday is on Monday April 2. Andy and Kate happen to be on spring break that week, which is good because Sam is convinced he is not going to school on his birthday. So either the three of them will spend the day together, or I’ll take the day off and we’ll all do something. Something simple, like going to the park. That evening we’ll have dinner of his choosing, cake, ice cream and presents.

Then, we’ll take a break in the madness until Kate’s birthday, which is Sunday, April 22. We’ll take a treat to school the Friday before and then on her birthday she’ll have her party at the skating rink, and she’s already decided that she wants to go to Frisch’s for dinner (and that I have to let her have all the chili spaghetti that she wants). Cake, ice cream and presents at our house.

The end.

Oh, it’s the end except that the week after that is Kate’s First Communion, which I am also determined to keep simple. I’m thinking church followed by brunch at a new cafe in our town.

Note that none of this involves getting our house clean. I am no dummy.

So, as I stare April down, that is my plan. My only fear is that I will be so focused on keeping everything simple that I will drive myself crazy with that. I may or may not already have a Google doc entitled “How to keep April simple.” There’s something counterproductive about that, I think.

What do you think? Can I do it? Can I survive April without letting things spin out of control?

*********

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Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Sprint via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Sprint.

She's cute. And she's planning a hostile takeover.

Sophie was stubborn and strong-willed from the moment she left the womb, and we’ve had our share of power struggles in the past, but since she’s come through her language delay, things have been much easier.  Until now.  Recently, girlfriend has decided to test me HARD in a couple of areas.  The power struggle is ON, and I am determined to let her know I am still the Alpha Female in this household.

The times Sophie most tries to assert herself as the one in “control” are when we are getting ready to get dressed or leave the house, and at dinner time.  Two or three times a week she will refuse to go potty/get dressed before school or gymnastics, or any random time when we need to get out the door.  Then, every night at dinner if there is something on her plate she doesn’t “like” (i.e. anything not fruit, yogurt, or peanut-butter related) she absolutely refuses  to eat it until she is threatened with punishment and/or I shovel the bites into her mouth for her.  She would rather go to her room for the rest of the evening thaan eat those bites.  She would rather lose iPad privileges than eat those bites.  She would give up TV, computer, Wii – anything before she’d eat those bites.  So I ALWAYS make her eat them, rather than “grounding” her from something.  But it takes lots of extra time and usually I am a little hot under the collar by the time all is said and done.

And, even though I have yet to let her “win” this one, she still does it every time she is offered food she doesn’t want to eat.  I know she is winning a partial victory just by causing so much inconvenience and irritation for me in the first place.  The other night I was pretty much convinced she is a sociopath. *Ahem*.

I pretty much just don’t know what to do with her, other than, as I have said many times, save my pennies for either a) her stay at boarding school or b) my stay in the looney bin in aabout 2021.

Which is why I had to laugh when TheMotherhood.com asked me to co-host a chat this Thursday, 3/15 at 1PM EST with a few other fab bloggers and Susan Stiffelman, the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles.   I saw the info about this talk in their newsletter and was totally going to attend anyway, so BONUS! Susan is a family therapist, and an officianado on parent-child power struggles, and she did, after all, write the book! She’s also the Parent Coach at the Huffington Post and I cant wait to hear what she has to say!  The talk is all-text, here at the Motherhood.com.  I hope you’ll join me and my co-hosts for some straight-forward talk about how to eliminate power struggles.  Perhaps after Thursday’s talk I’ll be able to start saving my pennies for something a little more exciting than a stay at the funny farm.  Like a stay at a spaaaaaaaaa.  Or a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew and Cadbury Creme eggs.  You know, something really valuable.

I hope you’ll join us on Thursday!  I’m not being compensated or sponsored for my participation, it’s just a topic I am really interested in and need to learn about right now, and I am glad to have a great interactive forum in which to do so.

I’d like to have some other viewpoints besides my own going into this, so tell me, what are some of the power struggles you have with your kids?

But the gist of it is: I am blowing town two days before my kid’s birthday party.  Now I will only be gone for like 36 hours and I will be back like an entire 15 hours before the party starts, so that’s ok, right??

Uhhhh…

I’d say Joshua’s birthday kind of crept up on me, but that’s just not true. I’ve had all his presents for forever. The problem is, we spent the long holiday weekend on a reunion vacation with my husband’s family in Myrtle Beach.  We left Thursday night, slept in West Virginia, then drove 8  (really 10) hours Friday, had fun, and turned around and drove 12 hours home Monday. So I spent all LAST week preparing for the trip, and I’ve only had Tuesday-Wednesday to prepare for Joshua’s Sunday family party and Monday after-school friends party, and TODAY I should probably actually pack and do laundry because TOMORROW at 10:30 a.m. I am leaving to go tour Lake Erie’s top vacation sites with some other bloggers and journalists. And I said yes even though the timing is poor because I NEED A BREAK.  And I get to take my BFF Lulee.

It’s going to be my first night away from Jonah, ever.  Totes freaking about that.  But I REALLY want to have him weaned by the end of March, and I am hoping this will be a good first step.  Hold me!!

So I’ll get back Saturday night about 8, and Joshua’s family party is a brunch Sunday at 11.  I am stacking up a bunch of donuts to look like a cake. Brilliant, right?

THEN Sunday night I am going to attempt to make these cupcakes I found on Pinterest for Joshua’s Pokemon (don’t get me started) party:

They look pretty easy, but chances are on Monday at 1 a.m. I am going to be calling Cortney and screaming “PLEASE  MAKE ME SOME CUPCAKES BEFORE  I KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!”

So there you have it. I am a total slacker. And I am probably going to ruin Joshua’s 8th birthday, even though I was out running birthday errands til 10 pm so he will have GOODY BAGS like he requested, and you know, FOOD at the brunch.  And a Pokemon TABLE CLOTH for the love. It’s a good thing I got him some cool presents!

Now I must go start my laundry so I have actual clothes to wear on the tour of Lake Erie, so I can look and act like an actual human instead of this frazzled, stressed, mombie (Mom-Zombie, you LOVE IT) that I have been for a few days.

BUT FIRST – I gotta get out the door to the library to get Joshua a book on horses he has to have for Monday so he won’t also fail 2nd grade because of his mother!