One day, a long time from now, our kids will be old enough to be mortified by their embarrassing parents. Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for them, they’ve provided us with an arsenal of stories about the times they humiliated us – paybacks are fair game! NickMom has a feature called “Kids Say of the Day,” and it brought to mind some of the crazy things my kids have said!
Before I get to my kids’ stuff, though, let me share with you this “Kids Say of the Day” that left me speechless.
Yeah. My kids would so be grounded for all eternity.
So anyway, back to the ways my kids have publicly shamed me.
Let’s start with Kate.
When Kate was about two, as she was in the picture above, we were walking through Target with my grandma. Kate was sitting in the cart, and my purse was stashed right beside her. So anyway, I’m walking around, minding my own business, not paying any attention to the fact that Kate is sorting through my purse, when all the sudden – to my horror – she pulls out two tampons. She started waving them around in the air and shouting “maracas!” at the top of her lungs.
As though that wasn’t bad enough, my grandma thought it was the funniest thing ever, and was laughing hysterically, adding to the scene we were causing. It. Was. Awesome.
Not long after that, Kate was in the midst of potty training and, you know how it is, we talked about all things potty a lot. At home. (Not so much on social media, unlike some people I know *ahem*Jenny*ahem*.) However, Kate hadn’t yet picked up on the appropriate times to talk about such things (or, evidently, anatomical terms) and one night we were out to dinner when Andy excused himself to go to the restroom. Kate piped up for the whole place to hear, “Daddy, are you going to go potty with your… with your… with your tail?!?!?”
Andy would have liked the floor to open up and swallow him at that moment!
Though Kate’s gotten older, her flare for saying things at inopportune times is still going strong.
When she was in the first grade, Andy and I went to her parent/teacher conference, expecting to hear nothing but lovely things about our girl. That was true, all right – her teacher was very complimentary. Toward Kate. At the end of our session, though, the teacher looked at me and ask if I had any questions about the homework Kate had been assigned. I was confused, and said, “Well no, I don’t think so.” Her teacher responded, “Are you sure? When Kate turned hers in yesterday, she said ‘My mom said this assignment is all jacked up!”
Kate has said some doozies, but lest you think that she is the only child who has embarrassed me, let me tell you this story about Sam. This is the #1 takes-the-cake kids-say-the-darnedest-things story I have.
I took Sam to his three-year well-checkup at the pediatrician’s office. When the doctor came in, he and I were commiserating about the early hour of the morning. The doctor said he could use a cup of coffee.
“Boys don’t drink coffee!” Sam piped up. “Boys drink beer!”
I know I’m not alone here – I’d love to hear the stories about how your kids have embarrassed you! You know, the stories you’ve stock piled in your mind to use on special occasions like when he or she brings a date home. The ones you’ll tell for years to come. Let’s hear them!
And while you’re at it, click over to NickMom to read more “Kids Say of the Day” stories. Seriously, I cannot get over the one I showed you above… and there are more where that came from!