You guys, on Friday I nursed Jonah (aged 23 months, 13 days!!) for the last time. Hopefully. Because after nursing him, Bobby, the big kids and I took off to Sandusky to the faaabulous Kalahari Resorts with Emily and her family. But more on that later.
Jonah spent the weekend with my mom, and when we got home about 4:00 this afternoon, we had a happy reunion when he woke up from his nap. He tried to nurse pretty much immediately, and I put him off and offered him a cup. He was not too pleased with that and threw a mini-fit, and then wallered all over me for the next for-ev-er. Really, it was probably about 45 minutes or so that he alternately fussed and climbed all over me, but we got through it, and it was not nearly as bad as I expected it to be! Eventually, he let me give him a snack and he drank some from a cup. He ate a good dinner and only tried to nurse half-heartedly a couple more times.
He freaked out whenever I left his sight for the rest of the evening, but all in all, our first night of no-nursing was a success! It went a million times better than I thought it would and I’m so relieved. I’m sad that this part of motherhood is over for me, and that this part of Jonah’s and my relationship has come to an end – it was so precious! – but it is time. The child will be two on December 17th and nursing him has become more and more difficult recently, especially in the mornings when we’re trying to get the kids ready for school.
So tonight, Bobby put him to bed (which is the normal routine, he hasn’t nursed at bedtime in months) and my little baby boy went to bed, still loving me even though we haven’t nursed in two days. Even though I’d refused him. But I must admit, as I write this, I am worried about his first morning waking up with no nursing time. I fear it won’t be pretty.
And I wonder. Will he still love me tomorrow?