This weekend, for the second year in a row, I attended the Hearts at Home conference in Grand Rapids, MI. I loved it last year and was super-excited to go again this year and get encouraged. Hearts at Home exists to encourage moms, specifically stay-at-homers, but I want to emphasize that I felt both times I attended the conference that there was nothing I heard that couldn’t be applied to work-outside-the-home moms, single moms, ALL moms! It was once again, amazing. I loved it even more this year than last year. Although, it should be noted, that miraculously, I cried a lot less than I did last year. 🙂
Throughout the next few weeks I will probably be sharing some more of what I learned from the great speakers I heard – especially Dr. Kevin Leman, author of the Birth Order Book, and my new FAVORITE book ever, Have a New Kid by Friday.
But what I want to share first (and quickly) are a couple of phrases spoken in a keynote given by the founder of Hearts at Home, Jill Savage. These words really stuck with me. She said that we are moms need to share our HARD stories with each other. That everyone loves to hear the cute, funny, stories about how your kid can turn his ear inside out, but what’s important to share are the experiences where you screw up as a mom, or get depressed, or have a giant housekeeping FAIL. Because everyone has these experiences, but we can’t learn from them if we’re too scared to talk about them, too concerned with keeping up appearances, with meeting a certain standard, that we keep it all stuffed inside.
Another thing she said that rings sooo true, is that we will never learn from each other as moms if we can’t stop judging each other. I know it’s hard. I have struggled with it in the past. But I believe there is no winner in the Mommy Wars. Let’s just encourage each other to be the BEST moms we can be, in the way that we feel is right for our families.
Lastly, something I took away with me last year, that was reiterated again this year, is that I am not alone in motherhood and I was not meant to take this journey alone. And I am not talking about having a husband or not, I am talking about walking with God. God gave me these children, and he will partner with me in raising them! And even if there is a “hard story” that I can’t bear to share with anyone else, he knows it. And if I let him, he will get in the down & dirty middle of it with me.
So let’s get real! Call up a friend, tell her your “hard story”. Tell it here in the comments. But TELL it. Let’s learn from each other!
This is such great advice! I spoke at a womens conference this weekend about authentic friendship. It is the times in my life when I needed a friend the most that I have tended to withdraw so that people wouldn’t see the “failure” of the moment.
But, that is not God’s will for our relationships. Sometimes He wants to show us His love through a friend.
Glad you had a good time- sounds like a great conference!
Jenny,
Thanks for helping to pass on this important message through the blog world!
I’m glad you had a great weekend at Hearts at Home. I loved it too!
I enjoyed your recap of HAH. I will be attending the Rochester, MN HAH sessions next month.
I have two children, both in college. So why do I attend HAH? I REALLY wish I had known about them when my kids were smaller…I may have been able to change some things and do better in mothering. But I attend now to be filled…to get that encouragement that it’s ok to mess up. And to share my stories of what NOT to do. And to just spend a weekend away with thousands of other Christian moms.
Thanks again for your recap…
sounds like an awesome conference. None anywhere close to FL though. 🙁
Oh yeah, I’ve had plenty of screw ups as a mom and a wife. Wish I could do a lot over, but that’s not how things work. God accepts me for my screw ups, forgives me, and then asks me to learn from them and do better. 🙂
Glad you came away refreshed!
Kevin Leman is my favorite author on parenting. I loved both of those books and have implemented a lot of what he said in New Kid by Friday and Raising Kids without Losing your mind :). I wish I could have heard him speak.
I’m glad you had fun, but you do know you missed STRYPER right?
A-MEN! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It’s a lesson that all mothers need to learn, and sometimes, be reminded of.
I’m reading Have a New Kid by Friday right now. Can’t wait to hear more about what you heard!
I have a blog that I have been sharing my hard story. I welcome you to read it. I haven’t updated it yet since becoming pregnant. http://adventureswithbipolar.blogspot.com/