5 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Done Having Kids

Before I had kids, I thought I wanted five kids. After I had one, I thought, “maybe three”. After I had two, I thought “Remember when I only had one? THAT WAS AWESOME.” Just kidding (sort of), I really thought, “Two’s good.” And then, well, we went away without kids for our 10th anniversary, and…we ended up bringing one back with us. And make no mistake,  I am so glad we did. But I am also so glad we are not having any more. I got my tubes tied on the operating table when I had a c-section with baby #3 and I’ve not regretted it for one single second. Our family is complete and it feels great. And so does never having to have ankles the size of a California Redwood ever again. Which I think is a great segue into my 5 reasons I’m glad I’m done having kids.

1) I can’t seem to pop them out the right way, and major abdominal surgery three times in seven years was puh-lenty. Especially that first time when I got a paralyzed bowel and it hurt worse than labor, and that third time when my magic pain ball medicine they gave me after surgery DIDN’T WORK and the nurse didn’t believe me and I just wanted to die for a couple days. Pass.

2) My three wonderful, awesome, amazing kids have stretched me to my limit. Even though the older two are capable of doing lots of self-care, there’s not a minute of the day when I don’t feel needed, pulled on, and tethered to them. And sometimes, I can’t hear “Hey Mom” one more time without losing it. It stands to reason that if I had another kid, I’d hear it one more time plus one more time. I guess what I’m trying to say is, a fourth kid would definitely get the shaft. Because I’m about tapped out. I’ve got really good friends who keep popping out babies with no signs of stopping and frankly it makes me feel rather inferior because I would love to be that maternal angel who just wants to have all the children her loins can produce and love them each perfectly, but I. Am. Not. And then sometimes I feel guilty about having three kids when some people struggle to have one, and I think, well, what is the right way to feel? I don’t know.

3) Playing host to a growing human being for 40 weeks (which, let’s be real, is more like 10 months than 9. Somebody sold us a big ol’ LIE.) is totally miraculous but SO not enjoyable to me. Especially when at about week five, the 24/7 Vomitpalooza gets going. I had morning sickness with my first baby and I had alldayeverydayforthenextsixteenweeks sickness with my other two. And this may surprise you, but after about two weeks, the “Let’s count how many times and in how many different places I threw up today” game gets old. So does running from your desk to the bathroom that’s really far down a long hallway at work while your co-workers take bets on whether you’re going to take it or not. Oh, and…I didn’t like anything else about being pregnant either. Except getting to keep the baby at the end.

4) My heart is in three equal pieces that walk around in three little bodies. I worry about my kids. I don’t let anxiety rule my life, but having and loving a child means taking a huge risk with your heart. I took that risk three times, so I have three times the mom fears. And I won’t lie, having two kids with developmental delays has taken a lot out of me. Having to worry and stress about their development wore me down to a degree…I think it’s a big part of the reason I consider myself tapped out.

5) I like being back to me. I know it sounds selfish, but I nursed my last two babies til they were two. It will be two years next month since I’ve been a nursing mama. I loved nursing my babies but I like the way I feel not having to share my body anymore. I like the fact that my hair no longer falls out faster than it could grow in and that I can wear real bras and drink large quantities of caffeine and take an aspirin without worrying about passing anything along to the kiddos. I like walking around in my own skin and having it be…my own. At this point in my life, it feels completely and totally right.

There you have it…some reasons why I am really happy to be a mom of three and only three. I realize not everyone has this choice, but I think my reasons for not having any more are pretty good…and totally “me”.

 

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I TOLD you guys I was a cruncher…

So a few weeks ago I told you I was gettin’ a little bit crunchy. You know, just a tiny bit more into natural foods and natural remedies…I still wash my hair and everything, so don’t get TOO alarmed (I do use salt deodorant, though. That’s happening.) but I am looking into using natural when I can and should. And that’s why about a year ago after reading some very informative articles on the interwebz, I started using tea tree oil LIKE A BOSS. I started using it for two reasons: 1) it deters lice and I am terrified of my kids getting lice, so I put it in their shampoo, detangler, etc. and 2) I heard it was good for acne and I mentioned last week, I have struggled on and off with hormonal acne.

Long story short, I love tea tree oil and I use it for some reason or another pretty much every day. It has antiseptic properties and it’s amazeballs. GOOGLE IT! You’ll find out it’s true.

That’s why earlier this year when I heard there was a natural tea tree oil-based skin cleanser coming out soon, I got SUPER EXCITED. Did I want to cleanse my face with something completely all-natural? Yes I did. Did I want it to have the benefits of tea tree oil? HECK yes I did. So when Tea MD Skincare finally came to be, I couldn’t wait to try it.

tea md skincare

I MAY happen to know some of the folks that work at Tea MD Skincare and I may have BEGGED them to let me review it…so this isn’t exactly a sponsored post, though they did give me a bottle to review, which I super-appreciate! Let me tell you why I was so excited to review it.

Tea MD Skincare was invented, if you will, by a doctor (who just happens to be local to my area, by coincidence) who for years helped patients with big skin problems. When “traditional” medications didn’t always work and the alternatives were harsh on skin, he turned to  a natural solution – tea tree oil – and began treating his patients with it. Based on these years of successful treatments, he felt he needed to get this product into the hands of the general public so they could kiss their skin care woes and acne troubles goodbye. So, Dr. Ismailjee put Tea MD into a bottle and ta-da – here we are!

Ok, so it possibly wasn’t that simple, but here’s the deal: Tea MD is AWESOME and now it’s available to regular old skincare freaks like you and me.

After using Tea MD for two weeks, I can tell you this: it’s amazing. I love the minty-fresh scent and the tingly feeling it leaves behind (it’s a good tingly, I promise!) And I can attest to it’s acne-fighting prowess; I had a hormone breakout slip through last week and it went away MUCH faster than usual and left way less damage in it’s wake. Previously, I have always just had to let these run their course, and no treatment was effective. Needless to say I was REALLY pleased with the results I saw while I was using Tea MD! And also that those results were achieved with an all-natural face wash. All I did was wash my face, nothing more! No chemicals required!

I am using a lot of exclamation points, because I am EXCITED! About! Tea MD!

If you are also excited about natural skin care, about acne-fighting, tingly feel-good faceness, then I have good news for you in the form of a 25% off coupon code. Say what?!?! That’s right, you can get the good stuff shipped to your door at a discount using the code BC1411 at checkout. So go check out Tea MD Skincare and get on your way to a fabulous skincare relationship! The 25% off code expires October 31st so go use it lickety split!

Thanks Tea MD, for letting my try our your fantastic face wash!

 

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What’s a BIGGER news story than Ebola?

*Updated with proof-of-humiliation link at bottom*

Let me tell you, friends, at age 37 my vanity still runs rampant. I like to have my face on. I do my makeup every morning before taking my son to 7:30 preschool. I’m so vain, I probably think this blog post is about me.

Perhaps the Lord thought I needed a lesson in this matter. I don’t know. But I can really think of NO other reason that a news van would pull up in front of my house at 6:30 on a damp fall Thursday night when I was out with my kids (and their friends who were sleeping over – we’re off school today) when I had my hair in a messy bun, had not even ONCE had lipstick on that day, and for some reason my trusty eyeliner that stays on really well? Had been down around my chin for some time.

I mean, I will tell you, I AM NEVER outside playing with the kids at 6:30 on a weeknight, much less a slightly chilly, wet weeknight. So I guess it was fate when the news van with a statuesque reporter and bearded hipster camera man pulled up to the ONE house where someone was actually OUTSIDE in the city of Dayton.

The reporter explained to me that the City of Dayton had announced it didn’t have much salt for the coming winter and basically we are going to be trapped in our homes all winter and may have to eat each other to survive (maybe I made up that last part.) I declined to be interviewed because I LOOKED A MESS!!!! I explained to her that me not having my makeup and hair done was a MUCH bigger crisis than the whole SALTGATE but she begged and blinked her Barbie-like eyes and while I was thinking “I wonder if those eyelashes are real?” I accidentally said YES.

And then the cheers of four excited children erupted. Joshua and Sophie and their friends Chris and Chloe where FREAKING OUT behind me. So, so excited that OH MY GOSH THE NEWS! IS HERE! IN OUR YARD! WE ARE GOING TO BE ON TV!

SO I answered questions about SALTGATE. Then I pushed Jonah on the swing so they could take footage while the kids acted like circus performers behind me. And then Miss Ohio Reporter 2014 and LEGO Hipster Camera Guy left. And the kids still jumped around hysterically for another 10 minutes about their IMPENDING FAME while I commiserated with a party of one about my impending SHAME. Sigh.

Of course we let them stay up until 10 to watch the news…which started out with “Well Ebola was in Ohio, but first, THE  BIG STORY!”

SALTGATE was the BIG STORY.

WE were the BIG STORY.

My makeup-less face on a brutally large screen was THE BIG STORY.

But in our house, the real big story was four crazy, excited, adorable, cartwheel-turning, ninja-moving kids who were acting like crazy people on camera, and who had like the BEST NIGHT EVER. Bobby and I DIED laughing at their antics, and they were FLYING HIGH after we watched it.

So, I guess my embarrassment was worth it.

BUT.

I’m thinking about getting eyeliner permanently tattooed on my face. That’s probably necessary, right??

(When I first posted this the link to this stellar piece of journalism was not online, but now, here it is, for your viewing pleasure: riiiight here).

 

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