I am not a germaphobe. I have a whole list of other neuroses (read our archives if you don’t believe me), but germaphobic-ness is not among them. I typically ascribe to the “that which does not kill you” philosophy about germs.
However.
My kids have a way of finding the absolute grossest item in a ten-mile radius, and touching, licking, or generally wallowing in it. And it is about enough to send me over the edge.
We went out of town this past weekend, and I don’t know if it was just that I was a hormonal mess or that things seem grosser away from home, but seriously my kids were killing me with all the nasty things they were doing. First of all, we ate in a lot of restaurants, obviously, and even on a good day, restaurant high chairs make me cringe. So I felt like Sammy was a giant germ cesspool from that alone. (Yes, I have a Floppy Seat and yes, I was diligent about it when Kate was little, but alas it remains in a closet somewhere with the rest of the we’re-awesome-first-time-parents paraphernalia.) When we got to our hotel room, I just had to pop a Xanax and come to terms with the fact that I could not prevent him from crawling on the floor for our entire four-day stay.
And Kate. That girl has always been a magnet for disgusting. She spent the weekend laying down on the bench seat at Burger King and not just holding but lovingly stroking the handrails at Busch Stadium.
Seriously, the day she decides that touching the toilet seat is not absolutely crucial to the getting-off-the-potty process will be one of the proudest days of my life.
At one point I turned to Andy and said “I don’t know how real germaphobes ever leave the house, because I am about to have an anxiety attack.”
But I’m not a germaphobe. For real. You believe me, right?
Damn. Add that one to the list too.
We took my DD to Waffle House a few months ago. I decided that germ-fest was enough reason to use the floppy seat for the first (and only) time.
And then she licked the table.
Oh, I am such a good mother, aren’t I!!
The older I get the more of a germaphobe I become. Waterparks are the worst. Wet, barefoot people with their butt-cheeks hanging out – GAH! And let’s not even talk about what’s probably in all that blue sparkly water. Ick. I think potty-training might be the death of me.
I just took my kids to India, where I’m sure my baby ingested all kinds of nastiness since she was right at the age where all she wanted to do was crawl around and eat dirt. I just gave up and endured a month of judgmental stares while I prayed she would survive and I wouldn’t end up on Oprah explaining to the world why I let my baby eat crap.
See, I don’t have a complex about it either.
You know what’s sad? I’m only a germophobe when it comes to me. My kids can touch the gross stuff all they want, as long as they don’t touch me afterward. Bathroom gross is the only kind I’m ADAMANT about their washing off. Anything else and I figure it makes them tougher.
I just don’t want to get tougher myself. 🙂
It is good to know my daughter was not the only one who did that toilet touching thing. Ewww! I was so happy when she outgrew that. But, I still give lecture #6,502 whenever they enter the bathroom. I blocked out a lot of the gross things the kids did when they were younger-it’s the only way I survived! LOL! 🙂
“not just holding but lovingly stroking the handrails at Busch Stadium. ”
cracking up over here, cousin! hilarious and so true. kids are GROSS!
My daughter is obsessed with “buckles” right now – from the car seat to the shopping cart at Walmart. And while I love that she wants to be buckled up in the car, I really wish we could do without the Walmart belt. Last night, she insisted on buckling the belt in the Walmart cart, and then proceeded to play with it the whole time we were in the store. I even caught her UNbuckling and then putting it in her mouth! Oh, did I mention that the cart had obviously been in the rain, so the belt was wet?
Strangely enough, she didn’t even bat an eye when I freaked out and said, “Annalyn! Stop! Have you never heard of fecal matter?!”
*sigh*
“Look mommy, I licking my shoe”, my 2y.o. was so proud of himself yesterday because he knew I was driving and couldn’t stop him from doing it. They all survive, I keep telling myself!
Just wait until Sammy is a power-eating machine.
You are familiar with the Taterboy at my house, no? He has always been a survivalist eater – as a toddler, if he spotted something like half a chewed cookie on the floor at Kroger, it was ingested before I could holler STOP!
I’ve learned to live and let live, germy-speaking. I still hate taking them to the doc’s office for well-visits, though, because it’s almost a dead certainty that they’ll catch something just from breathing.
Gee…I thought I was strange because I carry a paper napkin to use while holding onto the handrail at school…who knows where teenage hands have been?
Yes, I have a Floppy Seat and yes, I was diligent about it when Kate was little, but alas it remains in a closet somewhere with the rest of the we’re-awesome-first-time-parents paraphernalia.)
Can I just tell ya that I laughed so hard at that comment that I was afraid I’d wake up a kid. Love it! Been there and still have a closet full of stuff. I carry around our floppy seat in the van but never get it out…..
how gross they can be! i was dealing with a booger eater even when he was like 8 – it wasn’t until i explained to him the grossness of what he was eating that he stopped….then we just found the nasty green things on the walls all over the house. ARGH!!!!! (did you know it is almost impossible to get dried on boogers off the wall with out taking drywall with it?)